Father and Son
by dart93
Summary: Weeks before the final test at the academy, Naruto is suspended at home when a strange man crashes through his roof and split open to reveal a green eyed green haired baby that instantly becomes attached to him. Later, he learns that the boy is a Demon Lord, soon to be King and the ender of humanity. Whats more... he sees him as his father. Follows Naruto timeline. beelzebub Xove
1. Chapter 1: Acceptance

Father and Son

Chapter 1: Acceptance

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

For some reason, it won't let me put this under the right crossover thing right now, I'll fix it as soon as I can.

-X-

To many untrained civilians, they saw the Hokage as a symbol of power and protection, what they thought of when they spoke of leadership and heroes. The title was what many dreamed of and saw as an ultimate almost unobtainable goal. But in truth, becoming Hokage was much easier than one thought, sure you had to be a strong ninja, meet certain requirements such as being from the village, and never being arrested for treason but the fact of the matter is, many respected Jounin and ANBU had already met those requirements. In the end it wasn't becoming the Hokage… it was being willing to become the Hokage.

Many ninja already figured it out that taking the title was a horrible mistake, sure there was the fact they you'll be the most recognized person in the village as well as on of the most known ninja around the world, but many had come to love the thrill of doing missions for their village and the Hokage did not leave the village except for certain duties. No more stealth missions, no assassination contracts, no guarding clients, no boarder patrol, sabotage, spying, stealing information and most of all… no privacy.

The Hokage always had a highly trained security detail nearby, when he worked in his office, he had two outside his door, two inside the room under a genjutsu, four on the roof, and two hidden outside on the balcony as well as two more teams of ten on call just in case. It didn't matter if he or she could single-handedly take all of them on and win or not, they were to keep their boss safe at all times. Even at home they patrolled the grounds, seeing as the men and women working as retainers in the home were trained shiniboi as well.

In truth, the Hokage went from active ninja to glorified paper pusher… a fact that many found out only after being tricked into the position… or accepting out of some sense of duty, like the Third who wanted to finish what his sensei, the Second Hokage started and end the great war after the Second had been assassinated.

But that had been during a time of war, and he had still been on the front lines and refused to leave when he was given the title.

Hiruzen Sarutobi groaned as he sat behind the desk, "Why did I ever take this job back…" he moaned out, making the two hidden ANBU sweat drop in the corners of the room as their leader went over another stack of reports and requests, "Kami please… just let something happen to help me escape this torture!"

An ANBU messenger appeared in a cloud of smoke, kneeling on one knee, "Hokage-sama,"

The elderly ninja looked up and mouthed out a 'thank you', knowing that Kami had answered his plea before nodding to the messenger, "Yes?"

"Something has happened to Uzumaki Naruto, Sir."

Hiruzen glared up towards the heavens, 'That's not what I meant!' he thought hotly before returning to the messenger and standing up, nearly knocking his chair over in the process, "Tell me everything, where is he?!"

"The Hospital, sir. There was some kind of strange electrical explosion that blew his apartment to pieces."

"What!" he nearly screamed, worried about the young man he cared for. "How bad!?"

That made the ANBU stop for a minute, "Ahhh… that's just the thing… he's perfectly ok… but there's something else…"

By then, the ANBU was bowled over by the old man, who ran fast enough to leave half a foot print on the ninja's white animal mask and a trail of dust that settled just as he reached the Hospital.

-X-

Ten minutes earlier…

As Naruto sat in his nearly empty apartment, he couldn't help but look around at his pitiful living room before swinging around and falling back on the couch. There wasn't much to his place but it was home, he had an old fridge, a stove with only two of the four burners working, not to mention the small couch that he was now laying on. The only other rooms was his bedroom, which consisted of a bed and his closet and lastly the bathroom.

He'd been having a bad day… scratch that, he's been having a shitty week. Every morning he got up and went to the academy, hoping to finally pass and become a ninja. But each day he was punished for something no matter if he did it or not. He'd cleaned so many chalkboards that he dreamed of cleaning the damned things and washed so many windows that the fumes from the cleaner had him so fucked up that he swore his reflection was laughing at him. It was mainly for the fights he got into with others who tried to pick on him for whatever reason, and even if the teacher saw them throw the first punch, if he even looked like he was going to fight back then they blamed the whole thing on him.

He had broken so many kids noses and knocked out so many teeth in the past six years of school that he could easily tale the difference between the sounds of a bone cracking and cartilage crunching. In fact, he's gotten pretty good at fighting and not many tried to fight him anymore… except that mutt Kiba Inuzuka.

In fact, the mutt was the reason for his troubles, here he was, not even a month away from the final exam and he's been suspended from the academy until the final week. So what if he broke Kiba's arm in two places… and knocked out three teeth… bruised a couple ribs… and made him swallow his lunch without taking it out of the brown paper bag? The bastards been pushing his luck for two days before saying that his (Naruto's) mother was probably a strung out whore. Although he probably did push it when he countered with the accusation that Kiba was the half-breed outcome of a drunken orgy between his (Kiba's) mother and a pack of the Inuzuka ninkin and that Akamaru was most likely his smarter half brother. Didn't help with said Inuzuka Clan head standing not twenty feet away.

The thirteen year old covered his face and groaned, "Fuck my life!" he hissed out before hearing a whistling noise and sitting up, "What's that-"

The noise got louder for a moment before the ceiling above him exploded, sending dust and splinters flying everywhere.

Coughing and waving the clouds away, he spotted what crashed through his roof and started freaking out at the sight of a man laying there. He was huge, most likely standing seven feet tall and had a large brown mustache that twisted up on each end. He also wore a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his sholders and a pair of pink shorts.

"Oh FUCK!" Naruto yelled out, "IT'S RAINING MEN… gay men at that…"

When he finally calmed down enough to approach said person, he poked the strange man… with a stick while using his couch as a shield, "Oi… you alive?" he questioned between pokes.

The man didn't respond but instead, started glowing before his body split open, making Naruto gape, but instead of blood, bone, and guts, the inside of him was a glowing, swirling purple portal and without warning a small figure appeared.

"What the fuck!?"

The figure slowly lowered to the ground and looked around as Naruto gaped. Sitting on his floor next to the strange man whom split open was a fucking baby!

It saw on his floor, innocent green eyes roaming all around under a mop of green hair as it sucked a large golden pacifier before those green orbs locked onto the blonde.

"Da-bu!" the child exclaimed while moving to crawl over, climbing the couch like a ninja before latching onto his black shirt, nude as the day he was born.

Adding to the strangeness, the man, whom I might add was still split open, sealed himself shut and flipped onto his feet before jumping out of his window, shattering it while yelling "FAREWELL!" and disappearing.

Naruto stayed frozen in shock for a few moments while the child crawled around on him, saying 'Da-bu' over and over again before getting mad at being ignored and starting to cry. Electricity arced around them before the child started wailing, causing the room to explode with lighting shooting into the sky, lighting the village up for a brief moment and alarming the nearby ANBU team.

-X-

"And that, old man, is all I know," Naruto finished as he sat across from the Hokage in his hospital bed, a mop of green hair leaning against his side snoring softly.

The old man blinked, over the past hour they had learned a lot and yet nothing at all. This baby came out of nowhere, seemed to have chosen Naruto as it's father, and would burst into tears whenever someone tried to take him away from the blond and with the tears came a few million volts.

"Well Naruto-kun, I don't know what to say… for some reason your unable to part with this baby and doing so is dangerous."

"So I'm going to have to keep him?"

"Pretty much," he replied with a curt nod just as the child woke up and yawned quietly, "Like I said, this child seems to have a affinity for lightning that shows whenever someone tried to take him from you. Three ANBU are being treated for shocks and burns as we speak."

"Da-bu!" the boy called while patting the blonde's side with both arms then raising his own.

Naruto really didn't know what the baby wanted but had a strong feeling that he wanted to be picked up, so he did and held him in his arms. Surprising Hiruzen when he held the boy the correct way without knowing it.

It made him smile to see Naruto holding the child like that, while it was a bit early, he'd always hoped that he'd be able to see how the blond would do as a parent.

"Well Naruto-kun it looks like you'll do just fine," he mused while standing up from his chair, "But you'll need some things if your going to take care of him, I'll see about having your stipend increased and get you some books on parenting. Your apartment has already been fixed up too by the way."

The blond nodded, holding the green haired boy in one arm as he once again dozed off, "Thanks old man, but what about when I got to go back to class?"

"Well think of something,"

-X-

That night, the sky was covered in clouds, lightning and thunder filling the air with light and sound. No one noticed the purplish black portal open up in the sky, allowing a large bird to fly out into the air before closing as if it was never there. The bird was massive with a dark green body while it's wings were blue, matching it's headdress while a silver armored headband that connected to reigns. A large golden necklace studded with green stones sat snuggly around it's neck with a matching set of bands around it's hind legs and another around it's massive tail. Lastly, it had a large saddle on it's back where a woman stood.

She was and attractive young woman with blonde hair that covered one side of her face and was tied in a bun. Her eyes were green and she had a well endowed chest. She wore an elegant black and white frilly maid's uniform with long black high heeled boots, resembling an elegant gothic lolita fashion.

"It is time," she mused coldly while holding the reigns in one hand and a small book in the other, "He is near… leave no stone unturned."

-X-

Glancing out his window as the storm went on outside, Naruto sighed for the tenth time as he sat on the floor with the kid while a pair of baby sized shorts hung off the side of his head. The Hokage had been nice enough to give him some of his grandsons old things, some old toys and clothing mostly, he had even stopped at the store and got him some baby formula and such.

The kid loved some of the shinobi toys, especially the villains for some reason but fought him tooth and nail over wearing clothing of any sort.

Diapers were removed and thrown aside, shirts tossed away, and shorts were thrown at him, hence the pair of tan shorts on his head.

"You're not gonna make this easy for me are you?" Naruto spoke darkly as they stared each other down.

The boy returned the stare with gusto, looking downright intimidating in it's own way.

The blonde grinned, thunder rattling the windows as lightning flashed, making the teen look evil as he presented a roll of tape and grabbed the boy. A minute later and the baby sat on the floor glaring at Naruto with the diaper taped securely around it's little waist.

"Ha ha… Victory in the name of Naruto!" he exclaimed before, to his surprise, he got hit it the head by said diaper.

Turning, the blond found the kid smirking at him as he stood proudly with himself exposed for the world to see.

A fire roared to life in the teens eyes, "Boy, do you know who your messing with?" Naruto started, his eyes unknowingly flashing red as his teeth turned sharp like a sharks, "Keep pissing me off and I'll show you the deepest pits of hell!"

Large green eyes twitched, making Naruto inwardly wince, had he gone too far right then?

"DA-BU!"

Like a spring, the little boy leapt through the air and latched onto his shirt, crawling up him like a little monkey and straddling his shoulder before hugging his face and rubbing against his cheek lovingly.

Naruto started to laugh, "Kid… I don't even know your name and your this attached to me."

"Attached to you?" spoke a woman, making Naruto spin around and jump to his feet to see a blond woman wearing a gothic black maids uniform while holding a pink umbrella, "You're delusional, the Master would never take to the likes of you… Die gutter-trash!"

"Who you calling gutter-trash?" growled the teen, not noticing that the kid was now on his back poking his head over his shoulder.

The woman ignored him and smirked before walking over and holding out her arms, "Now, Master, come here." she side with a kinder tone, "Hilda is here to bring you home."

Naruto blinked, "Take him home?"

The kid turned his head and hugged Naruto's neck, "Da,"

That make him grin, "Looks like he doesn't like you!" he chuckled with a toothy smirk while pointing at the kid on his back.

But Hilda didn't stop, "Come now, Master… It's time to go!"

She managed to get a hold of the toddler's waist and tried to pull him off, but he kept a death grip on Naruto's black tee-shirt while kicking wildly, "Let go of him, Master!"

Naruto started laughing at her struggling.

Getting angry, the kid's eyes started watering and before they knew it, electricity filled the room, roasting them.

Five minutes later, Naruto was sitting on the floor at a small table across from Hilda while the kid sat happily in his lap. His skin was still a light tan from the burns and his body still had wisps of smoke floating from it.

"I apologize." spoke the girl, "I am the demon Hildegarde, and I am this baby's maidservant demon.

Naruto blinked, "Demon!?"

She nodded, "And that child is to be the king of we demons. His name is Kaiser de Emperana Beelzebub, the fourth. So in other words, he is the Demon Lord."

"Demon Lord!?" the blond teen repeated and in a flash, the kid found himself sitting on the table as Naruto half jumped away.

Calming himself, the teen sat back down just as the mini Demon Lord baby hopped back into his lap. "Ah… Hilda, thanks for the explination but since you came to take him back, well, it you don't mind…" he spoke while motioning for her to take him from his lap.

"No,"

"No?"

She nodded.

"WHY THE HELL NOT?"

"Because it's not possible," she simpered, "Why? Because you seem to have been chosen as the Demon Lord's father."

"The Great Demon Lord said this:

-Flashback-

Standing in front of a large map of the world, a large demon with long green hair wearing a purple helmet with two large golden horns coming out the side and dressed in a black cloak hummed, "I'll get to destroying humanity tomorrow," he spoke with a carefree and somewhat normal voice as a mass of cloaked individuals stood obediently behind him as he fiddled with something, "They're like, so annoying. They breed like roaches. Why don't we just, like, totally wipe them out?"

An old man flipped through a small book, "But Great Demon Lord, tomorrow is the Dark Dragon King's wedding."

"Really?" the Demon Lord exclaimed in surprise before shrugging, "Then the day after tomorrow. I'll defiantly get to it the day after tomorrow."

"The day after is the hell wide chupacabra hunting bus tour."

"Well, dang! I'm like, so super busy!"

The old man nodded, "Yes and after the, the 10,000 day mahjong marathon on Demon Isle and after that is-"

The Demon Lord huffed, "Oh forget it. I'll have that kid I just had do it. Hilda!"

Said Demon walked over holding a trey with a glass of purple juice in it "Yes?"

"Take him to the human world, find some human to raise him, and have him destory humanity, 'kay?"

-Flashback end-

"And that's what he said." Hilda finished, leaving Naruto sitting there in shock with beads of sweat on the back of his head.

"The great Demon Lord seems like he's got a screw loose," he muttered lowly.

"I have some here in search of a human suitable to be the young Master's parent."

Naruto thought of everything that was said, this kid was a Demon Lord, the future King at that and would be the downfall of humanity… and she expected him to help. Sure he'd love to destroy a good portion of Konoha but the WORLD?

Standing up, he held the kid out to the woman, "Hell no, take him and leave."

"So you refuse…"

He nodded as the boy shook his head wildly and waved his arms not wanting to leave the teen, "Goodbye now!"

"I see then," she started before smiling, "… please die."

His eyes widened as she grabbed her pink umbrella and pulled the handle, reveling that it was a hidden sword. But by the time she drew it and attacked, Naruto was out the door and running while the kid hung onto the back of his shirt, giggling and laughing all the way as it stormed above them.

Skidding to a stop, Naruto gulped at the sight of Hilda standing on a fence post in front of him with her sword.

"Give up," she demanded harshly, "Running is useless."

He didn't listen and ran the other way, making her roll her eyes.

"AKUBABA!"

Naruto heard her yell but didn't understand it, just figuring that she yelled at him to stop again, but he soon saw a large demon bird sail through the air above him and land in his way.

It screeched at him, lowering it's head in his way.

"UZUMAKI KICK!" he screamed while planting his sandaled foot into the birds metal headband, kicking it out of the way much to the shock of his pursuer and the enjoyment of the brat.

Hilda shook it off and continued to give chase, jumping through the air she swung her sword and sent a wave of red energy towards the fleeing blond which exploded near him, sending him flying through the air and sprawling to the ground. Midway to the ground though, he twisted around and grabbed the kid, holding him protectively as he landed on his back.

"Fuck that hurt," he groaned before sitting up and freezing as Hilda's sword periced his cheek.

"You think you can escape?" she mused coldly, "You refuse, despite being chosen by the Demon Lord. Demons are very picky about contracts, you see…"

A drop of blood ran down the edge and fell, landing on the kids cheek.

"Die,"

The toddler looked at the blade that was threatening Naruto's life and started to scream, tears running down his cheeks as he threw a tantrum.

-X-

Sitting in his office, Hiruzen stopped what he was doing as he heard a loud cry and turned to his window to see a shining light off in the distance.

-X-

The screams of both the baby and Naruto echoed through the air as a massive orb of lightning engulfed them both, the baby screaming because he didn't want Naruto to die while Naruto screamed because he was basically in the middle of a massive lightning bolt while the source was latched to his chest.

The screaming continued for thirty seconds before the Hokage showed up with his ANBU and a few other alarmed ninja. Seeing the woman with the sword, Hiruzen demanded to know what happened.

Hilda ignored him in favorer of calling out to the child, "Master, please don't throw a tantrum!"

The surrounding ninja gaped, 'that was a tantrum!?'

The old man began to worry as he recognized Naruto in the middle of the electricity, slowly falling to his knees as he held the screaming child. The blond teen continued to fall, moving himself to fall to his side as not to land on the boy.

"Can't something be done!"

Hilda shook her head, "No… when he gets like that, there is no stopping the Master. Only his father could calm a crying fit such as this…"

Everything went calm, making them look back over to where the pair were.

"Hush son…" Naruto spoke while holding the green haired toddler to his chest, rubbing his hair softly, "A man shouldn't cry like that, everyone will think you're weak."

Hilda's arms went limp, her mouth wide in shock, 'He stopped… that's impossible. Even I couldn't stop him when he cries like that… and yet… without so much as a…'

With a groan, the smoking blond sat up with his legs crossed while the toddler sat on the teen's knee and started wiping the tears from his face.

"DIE DEMON!"

Naruto turned his head to see a Jounin coming down on him with a sword poised to kill. Grabbing the kid, he moved to protect the child with his body and closed his eyes for the strike.

"Da."

Innocent green eyes snapped open, glowing crimson as a wave of demonic energy engulfed both teen and toddler. Strange symbols appeared in the air in front of the pair as both glared at the attacker with matching eyes as said man stopped in midair and began to be incinerated by the power as he was pushed back and killed.

Within moments, the energy vanished, leaving a crater below them.

Naruto held the toddler in his arms, looking between the kid and the dead Jounin before smiling, "Thanks… son."

"Da-bu!"

-X-

To be continued…

-X-

I need feedback if I'm going to continue this.


	2. Chapter 2: A Fishcake's Cruelty?

Father and Son

Chapter 2: A Fishcake's Cruelty?

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

For some reason, it won't let me put this under the right crossover thing right now, I'll fix it as soon as I can.

-X-

"Da-bu!"

Naruto awoke and grumbled, moving slightly as a pair of tiny hands pushed on his cheeks, "Hmm?" he mumbled opening his eyes, looking at the green haired toddler with a half raised brow, "What's wrong Baby Beel?"

The baby answered with a growling stomach and watering eyes.

"Hungry?" he yawned before sitting up in a flash, "No wait, I'll get you some milk-"

***Keyaaaaaaaaa***

Beel screamed, lighting Naruto up like a light bulb as he cried.

The blond shook and jerked around as the energy coursed through him for a few moments before the child calmed down, leaving the teen twitching on the floor while a single blond spike of his hair burned for a second and smoldered.

-X-

Naruto couldn't believe what he'd gotten into, just the other day he was a relatively normal thirteen year old spending his suspension from the ninja academy at home and now he was the father of a infant Demon Lord who'd destroy all of humanity.

Looking over, he watched Beel amuse himself with the ninja action figures, using the evil ninja to wipe out a group of good ninjas and some stuffed animals. One would never be able to tell that Baby Beel was a Demon Lord, he seemed to act just like any other child most of the time but was smarter than a normal toddler. While he couldn't talk, he understood people and seemed to be able to speak to Hilda through his baby talk.

Speaking of which.

"Master, it's milk time!"

The blond Demon maid came over from the stove with a glass milk bottle as Beel zoomed to her. After that little episode the other day with Beel throwing a temper tantrum, she reframed from attacking him and accepted that the Young Master had chosen her fellow blond. After a tense discussion with the Hokage concerning certain things, they had returned to his apartment where he then passed out.

Naruto looked at his right hand, where a small red mark had shown up while he'd been unconscious. It was small but noticeable and on the back of his hand, he wasn't sure how to explain it but it kind of looked like a simple tribal rose tattoo but could also see a tribal fly. Hilda informed him that it was a symbol of his contract with Beelzebub, which came from him accepting the infant as his son that night. She called it the Zebel Spell.

He had always wanted a family, something many orphans dreamed of. But who knew that it wouldn't be him getting parents but him becoming a parent? Even Hilda expressed her surprise when he accepted the contract as quick as he did, she expected him to try and weasel himself out for a while before giving up on escaping.

The whole destroying humanity thing seemed to be her reasoning for thinking that he'd resist, but he figured that as Beel's father, he'd be able to influence him and keep the world safe.

Standing up, Naruto stretched and rubbed the back of his head, "Well since you got him handled, I'm gonna go get some ramen." he mused before heading to his room to change out of his light blue pajama pants.

"I'd stop if I were you." Hilda remarked while she continued to feed Beel, "You're connected to the Master now, the further you get, the more upset he'll get."

Naruto turned and saw that even though Beel was still drinking from the bottle, his wide green eyes were starting to shine while locked onto him. Knowing what an upset Beel did, he took a quick step towards them and sighed in relief when the toddler's eyes went to the bottle.

"You are now connected to the Master," she continued after a moment, "As you already know, when he cries, the Master lets off a powerful wave of electricity… but now that your connected, if you stray too far from him, you'll be hit with a fatal amount of energy."

He paled at the thought of being killed for unknowingly stepping too far away. In his mind, Chibi Naruto walked into the Hokage's office and raised his arm to wave at the old man. 'Hi old man!' he called before taking one more step before *ZAP* a lightning bolt strikes him, reducing Chibi Naruto to a pile of dust with blinking blue eyes while Chibi Hiruzen freaked out.

"How far?"

"15 meters or about 49 feet."

Naruto turned and mentally measured the distance from his bedroom to Baby Beel then shrugged, his apartment was smaller than that so he was in the clear.

"Wait a minute…" he exclaimed, having realized something. "How the hell am I suppose to go to the academy and be a ninja if I can't get 49 feet away from him?"

"You'll carry him with you," she said as if it had been the simplest thing in the world, Beel nodding in agreement with her.

Naruto sweat dropped, "How in the hell could I fight when he's latched to me? It'll be like a giant target saying here's my weakness, aim for the kid and I'll be forced to shield him or give up!"

She gave him a blank icy look, "Do not talk as if the Master will be a burden. If anything his presence will give you an edge."

"Huh?"

"You are contracted to him and bare the Royal crest on your hand, it is more than a symbol, in truth, it is a connection between the both of you. As you both grow closer, you will both grow stronger. You are already a powerful person, his choosing of you is proof of that so this bond will only increase this power."

"…Huh?"

If anything, she sighed, "Master chose you for the power he sensed within you, a great power of darkness and anger. Even I have begun to sense it."

Naruto twitched, 'a great evil power' he thought, 'and it's inside me'. He knew what was inside him, he wasn't stupid. Years of being called the demon brat and being attacked by drunks yelling about demon foxes and such made a lot of things clear. He had been chosen because the kid felt the Nine Tailed Fox sealed inside him, figures…

-X-

"Is… isn't that the demon brat?"

"What's _he_ doing with a kid?"

"Who's the hottie in the dress?!"

"Look at her rack!"

"Why the hell is that baby naked!?"

Naruto ignored all that was going on around him as he walked down the road with his hands in his pockets and Baby Beel holding onto the back of his black and orange jacket, his bright white little rear end shining in the early afternoon sunlight. Next to him walked Hilda who shaded herself with her pink umbrella which hid her thin straight bladed sword.

"What is this Ichiraku Ramen, again?" Hilda questioned while looking through a small book as she walked, making Naruto smirk.

"Only the best ramen stand in the world," he replied while raising a fist in excitement, an action mirrored by the toddler on his back with a golden pacifier firmly in his mouth.

"DA!"

As they continued to walk, Beel began to get a little fussy and crawled up to sit on Naruto's shoulders with his tiny feet touching the blondes scarred cheeks while he tugged on the his golden mane of spikes.

"Ow!" he grimaced as the tugging persisted for the next couple of minutes, his only break being when Baby Beel switched to another spike or his ears. "Hilda, what's wrong with him?"

She gave him a uninterested glance, "The Master is bored." a small growl came from they child, "And most likely a little hungry."

"What! Again? But you just fed him not long ago!"

"I've seen you eat those noodles from those cups," Hilda deadpanned, "The Master is a growing child, besides, as the saying goes, like Father, like Son."

Naruto didn't respond right away, a few moments passed as he tried to think of a suitable comeback and- "So is this where you nurse him with your-" a resounding crack echoed as her umbrella as it connected with the top of his skull.

-X-

"S-S-SON!"

Naruto nodded, finishing his third bowl of ramen while Hilda fed Beel a bottle from… somewhere. Ayame stared at him with a look of shock after being told that the cute little baby being fed by the other blond was Naruto's son. From the little window connecting the kitchen to the front, her father, Teuchi had the same look as he stared with his mouth wide open.

'L-little Naruto-chan… is a father?' thought the old ramen chief as he imagined the money he'd make, if the kid was anything like his old man, he'd be eating twenty bowls of ramen for every meal in no time!

Ayame couldn't stop herself, "A-are you sure that… y-you know, he's your son?"

Hilda smirked, "Of course he is… after all, he was the only one capable of doing all that he did,"

Of course, she was talking about connecting to the Master. But in Ayame's mind, Chibi Naruto was grinning in his orange boxers while Chibi Hilda smirked from underneath the blankets of his bed while blowing a kiss to the boy.

"He was very surprising, I don't think that anyone could've lasted as long as he did without killing over."

Once again, the blonde woman was speaking of Naruto being electrocuted that night when she tried to kill him. But for Ayame and her father, Chibi Naruto was laughing as he laid under the blankets with Chibi Hilda, who's blond hair was sprawled out as she sighed in a post orgasmic haze while laying on his chest. Behind them was a chalkboard covered in chalk tally marks.

"N-Naruto-kun?" Ayame stuttered, "Is… is that true?"

He shrugged, "Pretty much."

A loud clattering sound came from the kitchen as the old man fainted.

-X-

For the two days, Naruto took care of Baby Beel, carrying him wherever he went, feeding him and such. He didn't care what people said about him as he walked out on the streets but had changed quite a few peoples opinions on him by being the essence of a father. But each day the toddler began to get more and more fussy, pulling the teen's hair, nose, ears, eyebrows… the list went on, and to make matters worse, Hilda vanished for the day.

"Damn it… just… damn it," he grumbled as he walked over a bridge that crossed a small stream, his face distorted as Beel pulled on his cheeks with a tiny tick mark on his head, "What a time for Hilda to vanish, I've tried feeding, burping, your not wet… thank Kami… and you can't talk so you can't tell me what's wrong."

Reaching up, he grabbed Beel and hoisted him from his shoulders, holding him out at arms length, "What's got you in such a fuss?"

The Baby made his usual infantile noises but began to punch and kick like an actual fighter.

"Oh I get it, your full of energy and want to fight something!"

"Da!"

Naruto sat down on the grass a little ways away from the bridge and sat Baby Beel in front of him, "Hmm… who or what could you fight…" he mused while thinking of different opponents. Adults were out, besides who'd fight a toddler… well scratch that, there are plenty of drunks who thought attacking him when he was little was just fine. Another kid perhaps? No, he didn't want to open that can of trouble just yet, he'd leave the 'Baby Boxing' idea for when he was short on cash in another country. Stray animals? Yeah right. Images of Beel foaming at the mouth from catching rabies and the demonic beating he'd get from Hilda crossed that idea off the list.

Baby Beel looked around as Naruto thought and spotted a large beetle close by and crawled over and stood.

Naruto noticed this and raised an eyebrow.

"Gerrr" He said in baby talk while glaring at the beetle, not scared in the least by the pincers on it's head.

The blond shrugged and waved a small sports flag reading, 'Go Baby Beel'. "You can do it!"

Beel's eyes sparked as he dropped down to get face to face with the beetle, growling all the while.

"That's my son!"

"Gah-bu!" ***SNAP***

Naruto paled as the pincers pinched Baby Beel on the nose, "Oh fuck!"

***KEYAAAAAAAAAA***

Suddenly, the electrical torture and screaming stopped.

"Eh?"

Naruto, twitching on the ground, looked up to see Hilda bent down to Beel, holding a small blue rattle with yellow stars and a brown cartoon bear on the side. The toddler forgot all about the now roasted insect and took the rattle, shaking it while giggling joyfully for the next few seconds.

Hilda then looked at the smoking blonde teen and huffed, "Honestly, laying about like some worm," she exclaimed while looking away, "I don't know why the Master chose you,"

Naruto twitched, 'I'll have vengeance one day!'

"Now get up, it is Masters bath time and we must bath him together."

Little did Naruto know, they had a eavesdropper.

Baby Beel remained completely distracted by the rattle as they walked back to his home, shaking it back and forth slowly next to the teen's head almost in time with each step.

"Get's kind of annoying after awhile doesn't it?" questioned the blond while developing a slight twitch in his eye.

Hilda scoffed, "As if, it is a wonderful sound that the Master finds soothing."

"Well I'll admit, it's better than him crying." In his mind, Chibi Naruto nodded, covered in bandages with tubes of burn cream laying all around him.

"Hey Dead-Last!"

Naruto's developing twitch turned into a tick mark as he turned to the voice, recognizing it. "What the fuck do you want dog humper!" he hissed out while glaring at the teen standing on the roof of a nearby building. He wore a grey blue coat with a hood over his head and had two red fang-like marks on his cheeks.

Kiba Inuzuka grinned, "Just wanted to know what a loser like you is doing with a total babe like her," he replied while looking at Hilda with a smirk, "Don't she know that there are better guys to hang around than you?"

Naruto snorted, "Hope you don't mean you, from what I've heard, Akamaru's been mounting you lately."

"Oh shut up loser, and quit acting like your that brat's dad!"

Hilda raised an eyebrow, "Whoever you are, I'm quite certain that Naruto is his father,"

"Oh please, a pack of wild dogs would be a better father,"

"What a coincidence, maybe your real dad is in that pack, want me to send him your way if I find him? I'm sure your mother would be happy to see him again, maybe then she wouldn't be such a high strung cunt."

"You mother fucker!"

Kiba drew a handful shuriken and threw them at the blonde. Hilda leapt away and landed on a rooftop while Naruto stepped out of the way with a grin, "Ha, missed you little runt,"

"D-Da… bu…"

Turning his head, Naruto paled at the sight he found. Baby Beel was one ten seconds to crying as he held the broken bottom half of the rattle in his hand, the top half laying on the ground with all the little pieces inside scattered in the dirt. "N-Now… don't cry!" he spoke while trying to think of a way out of a painful shocking, "I'll make it better… ah… I'll get you a new one… a better one…"

Naruto suddenly stopped, "I got it…" he then slowly turned to face Kiba with an evil, deranged smirk, "I'll make you one…"

Kiba gulped and took a step back as Naruto started towards him, both eyes glowing solid red as he smiled with a mouth full of pointed teeth. He started to turn and run but a hand grabbed his hood, pulling him back harshly.

"Now Kiba… you broke my son's favorite toy," Naruto chuckled while releasing the hood and capturing the teen by the front of his shirt, "I'ma need a replacement… something that I can make rattle."

The Inuzuka tried to scream, but before the sound could escape, the blonde's fist turned a terrified scream into muffled choking hack.

Five minutes later, Naruto crouched down to a sniffling Beel and grinned, a sweet sight turned horrifying by the specks of blood on his face. "I got you something!" he mused happily while presenting the rattle, the two halves temporarily put back together with some tape and stained in a few spots with blood, "Sorry it's not perfect but it's the best I can do for now."

"DA-BU!"

Baby Beel took the now repaired rattle from his father's bloody fingers and gave it a few test shakes, only to find in much better than before.

Naruto smiled and picked the toddler up, "Now come on, lets get home."

Beel nodded and climbed up to his shoulders excitedly.

Still standing on the roof, Hilda stared at the teen with a slight blush while touching her lips with the tips of her fingers, 'A…Amazing… such… such cruelty, so beautiful!' she thought while replaying what she saw over and over in her mind.

"Oi Hilda!" came Naruto's call from below, "You coming?"

"H-Hai, Naruto-sam… ah I mean, Naruto,"

The blonde raised an eyebrow, wondering what her problem was for a moment before shrugging and looking over to Kiba, who laid on the ground, face swollen as blood poured from his mouth, "Don't worry Mutt, I'm sure the doctors can replace those teeth with some fake ones, they'll be put to good use in Beel's rattle."

Baby Beel nodded, turning to give a thumbs up, "Da!"

To be continued…

-X-

Please continue to review.


	3. Chapter 3: Toys from the Demon World

Father and Son

Chapter 3: Toys from the Demon World?

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

For some reason, it won't let me put this under the right crossover thing right now, I'll fix it as soon as I can.

-X-

Snoring softly, Naruto rolled over and grabbed a tight hold on his pillow, rubbing his face against it as he dreamed of Chibi Naruto… eating ramen. Chibi Naruto cheered as bowl after bowl was delivered to him by Chibi Ayame and surprisingly Chibi Hilda without pause as he sat in the ramen stand.

"LOOK OUT!" Screamed a Chibi Villager as he ran past, "TIDAL WAVE!"

A question mark appeared over Chibi Naruto's head as he looked out to see the man run away just as a roaring sound reached his ears followed by a shadow. Looking in panic, he gaped before grinning, it wasn't a normal tidal wave… it was a RAMEN WAVE!

"YATTA!" Chibi Naruto screamed as the wave rushed at him. He held out his arms in welcome just as a piece of hot pork slammed into him, making him vanish from the spot as he was swept up and carried off in the wave.

"Chibi no!" Naruto awoke with a gasp, trying to imagine his little mental friend that aided him over the years with humorous yet cute mental picture aids, only to picture rushing water. "No!" he sobbed out, having killed Chibi off by accident, 'He was too young!'

'Wait a minute?' the blond thought before looking around and rubbing his eyes, "WHAT THE FUCK!"

His room had close to six inches of steadily raising water in it and on a small futon next to his own, Baby Beel was snoring… water gushing from him like a busted pipe as he floated an inch off the bed.

"Oh your awake,"

Turning to his open window, Naruto saw Hilda sitting on the ledge with her umbrella open as it poured down rain outside. "Hilda… just… what's going on? First he starts wetting the bed for the past two nights and now… well now he floods it."

The busty demon maid nodded, "Yes, Master is peeing quite splendidly." she replied as if it was a normal everyday thing.

His eye twitched, "I can see that… wait…" his face lost all color then turned an unhealthy shade of green, "AH! I'm swimming in pee!"

She looked at him as if he were stupid as he jumped out of the water and latched onto the ceiling, using chakra to stick there. "Do not worry, it is not unclean. Quite the contrary, it is urine imbued with holy magical powers one should give thanks for…"

Naruto's eyes twitched.

"The great urination comes each year around this time and in the Demon World it is a seasonal attraction. After a city is drowned in the flood, the amount of fertile land increases. A fine first step in destroying humanity, yes?" she finished with a small satisfied smirk.

"This isn't a joke!" Naruto growled out, "While I do think that the idea of humanity being pissed to death is a little funny… he's flooding my apartment first!" he cried out before dropping to the floor and crouching over Beel with an dark look of fury, "And how long are you gonna just sleep there!?"

"Da?" Beel exclaimed, eyes snapping open, but he didn't have the usual sleepy look in his eyes, he seemed uncomfortable.

"Your peeing is incredible as always, Master!" Hilda gushed, believe it or not, as the boy awoke.

Beel looked around at the raising water that was close to his navel, not really knowing what to do.

"AH!" came a scream from outside, making Hilda turn while Naruto came over to see, Beel remaining behind on the floor where he soon started playing with the evil ninja action figures. Outside it was storming pretty bad in the early morning, the road outside even had a fast moving river flowing down it.

But the cry came from a thin shinobi wearing all dark blue with a pair of round sunglasses as he slipped on the rushing water and was carried away.

"Hmm…" Mused the teen as he stood next to Hilda, "At least one good thing came of this. Now do something about this flood already!"

"Humans, honestly…" she huffed while looking away hiding a small blush, 'So commanding!'

Hilda then cleared her throat, "So be it… but answer me this one thing."

"What?"

"Who or what is this 'Chibi' you spoke of when you slept."

He blinked, "How long were you watching me sleep?"

-X-

"D-Da…Bu?"

Both Naruto and Beel looked at the thing Hilda put on the toddler strangely, it was a strange looking diaper of some sort that was a dull brown with weird little appendages all around it. But for all it's oddness, there wasn't a leak that came from the kid and the water had been easy to get rid of, leaving the floor spotless… but still a little wet.

"Hilda… what is that thing?"

"It is an item from the Demon World which temporarily sends his pee into an alternate dimension. It is called… 'Peebeegone'."

The teen blinked, "You're joking… you know what? It doesn't matter, at least this way Konoha can continue to be the Village hidden in the Leaves and not the Village hidden beneath an ocean of piss." he shrugged.

"No, it will flood,"

"Figures." he deadpanned.

"Although it is an alternate dimension, it is not infinite. It will only last a few hours."

"What… can't we just replace it? You know, put another one on him when that one's finished?"

Shaking her head in annoyance, she gave him a irritated look, "Can't you people just accept your fate. You should be spending this time deciding which city to drown and…" Hilda trailed off as she noticed the dark aura around the man, his eyes were shadowed and he twitched off and on for a few seconds while the muscles in his arms tightened.

Naruto felt his anger rising, her attitude was starting to piss him off, "Just shut it, okay… Baby Beel's calmed down for now but the dam is gonna burst at any time." he mused while keeping his eyes closed, "I tend to like my home above sea level and if your not gonna help me keep it that way then I'll find a way to handle it myself since I can't depend on you for any help on this."

Turning, Naruto walked towards Baby Beel and held his hand out to the child, who took it and let the teen hoist him up and carry him out into the living room and out the front door, leaving Hilda alone with a strange feeling in her chest.

-X-

"I'm not sure what to do kid," Naruto mused as Beel road atop his head while he walked down main street with an umbrella over them both, he was still wearing the orange shorts and black shirt he started sleeping in after the first bedwetting incident and didn't bother changing before he left.

"Da-bu…"

He sighed and rubbed his face, "Maybe I should go get something to eat and think about it, I'm sure Ayame has some milk or yogurt you can have." Thinking of ramen made Chibi Naruto pop into his mind, just morbidly obese from devouring the entire wave that swept him away and holding up a sign reading, 'I'm back bitches!'

Then thoughts of the Baby Beel Dam bursting entered his mind, making Chibi Naruto scream and flip the sign around to read 'FUCK!' just as another wave swept him away.

He didn't want to go to the old man, that would just invite trouble for all of them.

"Hey demon brat, where'd you steal that kid from?" sneered a man as he walked by, only to be punched in the mouth by Naruto who wasn't really paying attention, sending him into a wall where his head stuck through. There wasn't many people out today so the guy stayed there for awhile before someone help him.

He continued to head to the ramen stand only to find in closed with a sign blaming the bad weather and flood warning.

"Fuck it all," he cursed, "today just isn't my day."

"Naruto."

Turning, he found Hilda standing on the back of Akubaba with her hand held out, "Grab on, we'll fly to the ocean."

-X-

Hilda didn't know what to think as they flew over the ocean, Naruto sitting on the back of the demon bird with Beel in his lap, still peeing like a fire hose. She didn't care if a village drowned, she didn't care if it was wiped out in a plague, all that mattered was her Master's happiness and safety… or so she thought.

When than man said that he couldn't depend on her she had gotten the strangest feeling, as if, he struck her through the heart with a blade and twisted it with each passing second.

Akubaba made a noise as he flapped his wings a few times then glided above the water, not bothered in the least by the extra passengers.

"Should've just did this in the first place," Naruto muttered to the woman standing behind him, never noticing her blushing face with her back to him and concentrating on holding Beel, who was excited and waving his arms as they flew.

"Silence, or I'll push you off." she shot back before closing her eyes with a slight smile before thinking to herself, 'Great Demon Lord… I do not understand this man. However, it may've been too early to come to a conclusion. He's… different from what I expected, makes me feel… strange inside.'

-X-

In the academy, an average sized man with a brown ponytail with a scar across his nose sat behind a desk in his empty classroom grading papers. He wore the standard Konoha shinobi outfit and wore his forehead protector like many did around his head, taking pride in it while some of the other teachers wore more civilian-like clothing to work.

His dark brown eyes shifted from the paper he was grading to a small desk calendar near the corner, making them widen.

"Already?" the chunin muttered, sitting up straighter and popping his back after being hunched over the desk for so long. "Time sure does fly by…"

Below he next date he had written in a small note reminding himself that the final test would be in a week, but below that was another note that he'd written not too long ago that marked that day as the day that one of his favorite student's would return.

"Hey Iruka," greeted a fellow chunin teacher for another class as she stopped by his door, "Another late night of grading papers?"

The man nodded, "Yeah, trying to catch up with the grades before we start reviewing."

"Oh yeah that's right, you got the final exams coming up don't you."

He nodded again.

"I heard that the Uzumaki kid is coming back soon, I feel sorry for you." she continued, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed.

"He's not that bad," he huffed, "It's just that no one will give him a chance with him being… you know."

She shook her head, "No… oh Kami no, I didn't mean it like that. I mean that he's been gone for over two weeks and yet we haven't heard about one of his usual pranks."

Iruka froze, face losing all color. While the amount of pranks that Naruto pulled in the past had steadily declined, the few that he did do were usually on a grand scale that had the entire village talking soon after. They had also gotten somewhat cruel and if not unusual. He longed for the days when it was a simple whoopee cushion or eraser perched on a door, with each passing week Naruto seemed to refine his 'art' to the point where ANBU would close off the area to study what tiptoed the line between elaborate prank and a Master-level S-ranked trap.

One of the last few he'd had the… honor of seeing but not being targeted by was an elaborately placed tripwire that when tripped, opened up a hidden panel in the wall where a loaded bow flung an arrow into the victim's head. If Naruto had been serious, he could've put a normal pointed tip on the end instead of the large boxing glove that he did.

He was brought out of his thoughts when the woman spoke, greeting another man as he entered. It was his childhood friend and fellow teacher Mizuki, who helped him every now and then with the class.

"Hey did you two hear?" he asked them, making the two shake their heads and ask what he meant.

"I just heard not too long ago, it seems that Naruto's been keeping a secret from everyone."

Iruka and the woman looked at him expectedly, "… Well?"

"It would seem that your student is…"

Iruka's eyes twitched, it seemed to him that Mizuki was enjoying messing with him, "What is it already!"

"Naruto is a father,"

There was a silence. Both the woman and Iruka stared at the man with open mouths before she chuckled, "Good one Mizuki, you had us going there for a minute."

"I'm not joking, I've heard that Naruto's been seen walking around for the past few days taking care of a kid." the white haired chunin explained, "I've also heard that he's married to the mother of his child, a beautiful older green eyed blonde brick house!"

"Mizuki, I thought you were older than that," the woman exclaimed with a chuckle, "Listening to gossip and… wait… where's Iruka!?"

Looking around, they saw the man laying on the floor behind his desk, foaming at the mouth and muttering something about his student getting a girl, getting married, and having kids before he could get either one of them.

-X-

"So wait," Naruto spoke, waving his hands for Hilda to let him speak, "So you're saying that you are Beel's mother here in the human world?"

She nodded.

"But you still call him Master?"

"He is still my Master and while I do care for him I will still show him the proper respect that his title deserves."

The teen nodded, sitting on the couch while Baby Beel slept in his lap. It was starting to get late and the sun was just about to set, it had taken a while to go to the middle of the ocean and back despite Akubaba's impressive speed that many ninja could only dream of matching, well some could match it in short bursts for short distances, but the bird didn't have to slow down at all and when they returned, it didn't show any signs of tiredness.

"So if you're his mother here and I'm his father, then does that mean that we're…?" he trailed off.

"Mates?" Hilda responded without a hint of emotion, "Or as your kind put it, married?"

He nodded.

"Yes."

As he froze, stunned from the news, Hilda smirked inwardly. While she hadn't outright lied, they weren't exactly married or mated. Accepting the young Master as their child was more of a symbol, a preengagement-engagement if you will. The idea of being this human's mate made her heart soar and it would be better for the Master's growth if she remained the mother figure, so she figured in the end was what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

By now, the male broke from his trance, "So you mean to tell me that even if I was in a relationship with someone else, I'd have to break up with 'em because I'd be married or mated to you?"

"In some cases, but Demon culture is different from your own."

'No shit,' he thought with a sweat drop on the back of his head, thinking back to when they sat down to eat dinner together in the apartment for the first time ever, only for Beel and Hilda to start dancing. Rituals were very important to Demon Royalty, especially for Baby Beel seeing as he was royalty and the dance was considered to be a blessing that must be down when eating dinner together, especially at home. Hilda only did it so that Beel wouldn't have to do it alone.

"Humans see marriage as a sacred bond between two people and we Demons share that belief, but depending on a mutual agreement, some Demons have been allowed to take multiple mates, both the male and female. Luckily for you, I would not mind sharing a bed with another so long as it does not interfere with raising the Master."

-X-

A little while later, Hilda woke Baby Beel to give him a bath and asked Naruto to help. Now it hadn't been the first time he helped her bathe the fussy brat but this time things were different, with him believing that they were mates, she stripped out of her dress and insisted that they all bathe together like a family.

He had been embarrassed at first but couldn't force himself to look away from her. Luckily, the bubbles in the tub hid his stiffness but unluckily, the tub was small, just barely enough room for them all to fit in. But he managed somehow to avoid exposing his arousal and embarrassing himself as well as keeping himself from mounting her from behind and making another kid. I mean what kind of father would he be to Beel if he just mounted the boy's mother and went to town while she had been washing his hair?

As if to add to his embarrassment, he found that somehow, she managed to get another futon set up next to his without him noticing her and wore a thin nightgown to bed.

Kami help him.

But at least he'd get some time away from this sexual torture tomorrow, he had class…

-X-

"Nara, Shikamaru-"

"Troublesome… here…"

"Uchiha, Sasuke-"

"Hn,"

"Uzumaki, Naruto."

"…"

Iruka looked up from his attendance book and looked around, "Naruto?"

"I don't think he came to school today," Chouji said from his seat next to Shikamaru, who had already went back to sleep.

The chunin's eye twitched, of course Naruto would skip class on a review day, it wasn't like he had a test coming up or anything. (Note the sarcasm) But at the same time, at least he now knew what he thought was the reason for Naruto skipping class. Before he just thought that the boy skipped to prank people or eat ramen, never in his wildest dreams would he have thought that he had started skipping to care for his own child.

"Why does he even bother?" Sakura remarked, "It's not like he's going to pass anyway."

"Ah-da-ba, ack-da-bu, da!"

Everyone turned to the door as the strange sound reached their ears, slowly getting louder as footsteps became audible under the noise.

"What's got you so worked up?" came the unmistakable voice they all knew to be Naruto's as he approached the door, "It's just the academy, nothing to get excited or sing about,"

"Da-bu!"

"Hmm, well we'll see how long that lasts."

The silhouette at the door was unmistakable, no one else in the village had spiked hair like that. As he opened the door, Iruka turned to yell at him for being late only to freeze. There stood Naruto… with a baby on his head… a nude baby with green hair and eyes with a golden pacifier in his mouth.

Everyone in class froze as well, staring at the blonde in shock.

"Sorry 'bout being late, sensei." Naruto mused as if nothing were out of the ordinary before pointing up to Baby Beel with his thumb, "This little guy was being fussy so I had to fix him a bottle right quick."

"…"

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "What's with the looks? You act like this is the first time I've ever been late to class."

"T-the… you… the kid…." Iruka choked out while raising a shaking finger. When Mizuki told him about Naruto being a father he passed out from shock and upon waking up, half hoped that the man had played a mean trick on him, but now all of it was rushing back.

"Oh yeah," Naruto grinned before pointing up to the toddler again, "Iruka, I'd like for you to meet my son, Beelze, but I just call him Baby Beel."

Beel raised his hand in a peace sign, "Da!"

The blonde continued to grin for a minute before frowning, "Oi… you don't look so good… whoa I didn't know your eyes could roll back like that… Iruka? Iruka? Iruka… you alive?"

The man collapsed to the floor while Naruto gaped.

Everyone sweat dropped when Naruto hid behind the teachers desk and poked him with a stick.

"Oh shit, I killed sensei!" The teen then yelled out, "Everyone scatter! You didn't see anything!"

And with that, Naruto ran off, taking Baby Beel with him.

-X-

Hilda, true to her demon maid servant nature, quickly cleaned up the apartment and frowned, there really wasn't much here and they all deserved better. The Master also needed more toys than what he had at the moment as those few wouldn't keep him entertained for much longer.

Walking through the bedroom, her foot hit the edge of a floorboard, causing her to stop and look down to see that it was raised up. Kneeling down, she pulled it up to find a thick envelope full of cash hidden beneath, making her grin.

-X-

"Well Baby Beel, if I'd known that bringing you with me to the academy would get me a free day then I would've had a kid sooner!" Naruto laughed as he carried Beel to the park, holding the little bundle of demonic energy up in the air with the boy enjoying it, that is, until cicada landed on his nose, making Naruto pale.

Ever since he got pinched by that beetle, Baby Beel became afraid of any kind of large insect.

"No don't!"

***KEYAAAAAAAAAAAAA***

-X-

As the Hokage, one rarely had time to sit back and relax unless they made plans to have some free time, leaving information on where he could be found in case of an emergency and such.

Walking down one of the many well kept paths through one of the Village's parks, Hiruzen found himself lost down memory lane, remembering some of the dates he took his wife on here atop a grassy hill, taking Konohamaru here to play with his friends, a loud scream accompanied by a pillar of lightning shooting into the air.

Wait… what?

Rushing over to the area where he'd seen the lightning, he sweat dropped at the sight of Naruto laid out on the ground with smoke rising from him as the green haired toddler sat on his chest.

"Naruto-kun, are you alright?" he asked with a concerned tone.

The blonde just waved it off, "I'm fine old man… I'm starting to get used to this now."

"I see… then what are you doing here, you should be in class right now. The final test is only a few days away."

Sitting up, Naruto rubbed his forehead, "I know that, but as long as I pass the test it won't matter, I've been staying up later than usual to study and practice but I still can't get that Bunshin jutsu down. My chakra pools are too large for that."

Hearing the blonde's problem made Hiruzen forget about him skipping class and nearly slap himself in the head. Of course Naruto kept failing because of that, why hadn't he thought of it sooner? The Bunshin was a required technique for all academy students to learn because it was both a test of their chakra control and their mental skills. Most children had enough chakra to perform it by their age and it took very little to use, however, if one were to put too much chakra into it then all you'd get was sickly, useless versions of themselves that could only lay on the ground before vanishing. For someone with Naruto's amount of chakra to make a normal academy clone would be nothing sort of a miracle, even medical ninja would glow green with envy due to the amount of chakra control it would take.

"Naruto-kun… why don't you come by my office later on, I think I got something that could help you."

-X-

Returning home a little while after lunch, Naruto entered his apartment as if the devil were after him, rushing to the kitchen area to fix Beel a bottle seeing as he forgot to bring more that morning. He avoided a painful session of shock therapy but upon turning, now holding Baby Beel as he fed from the glass baby bottle, he found Hilda sitting on the couch and staring at a television watching what seemed to be a sappy soap opera.

"Hilda… since when did I have a TV?"

"Since two hours ago," she droned, never once turning from the show.

"How did… how could you buy a TV? I thought you didn't have any money?"

"Oh I found an envelope hidden under the floor and used it all to purchase some things."

Now that she mentioned it, he did happen to notice the fact that he now had more appliances and stuff in the kitchen area of the room, a new set of dishes and silverware, a blinder, toaster, a rug, he even found that his fridge was now much fuller compared to before. Upon further inspection, he found a toy chest and plenty of new toys for Beel, even some that he didn't think were toys.

"H-Hilda… how much… did you say you spent?"

"All of it. Now shush, I'm trying to watch this."

Placing Beel down on the couch next to Hilda, Naruto slid into a corner and cried. The money that she found had been saved up from years of taking a little from each stipend and placing it aside. It was one of the reasons that he didn't have a lot there in the first place, after paying bills, buying food, and the occasional expense like having something fixed or replaced, he didn't have much left.

Glancing over after a minute, he noticed that Beel had finished with his bottle and was now crawling over to the new toys excitedly. It was a small consolation but at least Beel would have something new to occupy himself with.

Speaking of which, he stood and moved over to look at some of these strange toys. While he had never had many toys as a child he was pretty sure that no human toy companies would make some of these things, they looked downright evil.

As he reached down and picked one up, Hilda spoke, warning him, "I'd be careful if I were you,"

He looked at her then to the toy, it was a patchwork doll that looked like a clown with thick orange hair and blue skin, an insane grin with a mouthful of pointed yellow teeth holding a six inch long kitchen knife in one hand and a ice pick in the other that was about the same length, "What is this thing" he questioned while looking it over, finding a small switch on it's neck and flicking it.

"It's a toy from the Demon World, I had it Dead-exed over." she explained while he set it down, sitting in front of it with his legs and arms crossed, staring at it to see what it did. Baby Beel paid it no mind as he dug through the toy box.

The clown's eyes glowed for a second and shook all over before getting still, making Naruto cock his head to the side before reaching out to poke it's nose.

"I believe that it's called the 'Fully Automatic Assassination Doll'. Quite popular among children these days,"

Hearing what it was called, Naruto stopped and turned to stared at her with wide eyes, his hand still outstretched in front of the doll. Just as he was about to ask her why it was called that, the doll's eyes narrowed while it's mouth curled into a dark and evil grin just before pouncing.

Taken by surprise, Naruto fell to his side as the doll latched onto the back of his head, it's arms wrapping around his forehead while it's legs went around his mouth, stopping him from calling out.

"I thought that the Master would enjoy some of the comforts from his home, I was sure that you wouldn't mind,"

Struggling, Naruto tried to rip the doll's legs over his mouth before stopping to catch it's arm when it tried to stab him with the ice pick. For a doll it had the strength of a grown man and both strained against the other while rolling around on the floor and into the kitchen out of sight seeing as the couch faced away from it.

Baby Beel found something that made noise as he played with it, making Hilda smile at him before turning the sound up just a little.

With one hand holding the arm with the ice pick, Naruto abandoned trying to pull it's legs off to catch the knife with his other and continued the struggle. He raised his head and brought it down on the floor, slamming the doll's back down against the hard wood twice before he managed to make if drop the knife, sending it clattering to the floor.

But with one arm now free, the doll took the pick with both hands and now put all it's strength into ending the blonde's life with a soundless roar coming from it's mouth.

'_Please, don't fight over me, I can not help that I love you both!' _Came the voice from the TV as Hilda watched the two characters start fighting each other over who would be the woman's lover or something.

Naruto finally managed to pull the demon doll off of him, using it's arms to pull him up and over his head, the ice pick scratched his cheek when he did but the weapon was sent spinning across the floor once he slugged the thing in it's mouth one good time.

"Come here you little mother fucker!" he growled while letting go of it's arms and taking it by the legs, swinging the toy around and slamming it to the floor. The blond then stood and jumped up, dropping back down with his elbow landing in the center of it's back.

"Da-bu!" Baby Beel cheered while beating on a small drum.

"You," ***SLAM* **"Don't," ***SLAM* **"Fuck," ***SLAM* **"With," ***SLAM* **"Me!" ***SLAM* **Naruto growled out as he held the little thing down and closed it's head the refrigerator door while the doll tried to get free of the vice-grip he had on the back of it's patchwork clothing.

If he had taken the time to look, or even cared to, he would've seen that the doll was crying, but if he did notice he didn't care as he picked it up and shook it violently before opening his freezer door and throwing it in. Naruto then slammed the door shut, and used an entire spool of ninja wire to tie it shut before leaning on it and huffing.

When he returned, the blonde collapsed onto the couch next to Hilda, making her look at him with a raised eyebrow, "What's your problem?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

She shrugged and went back to the show.

Not ten minutes later, Naruto felt a tug on his pants leg and opened his eyes to see a mop of green hair as Beel climbed into his lap, how the boy did it while carrying a book in both hands he didn't know.

"Da-bu!" Baby Beel exclaimed, holding out the book to him.

"Magical Beasts of the Demon World," Naruto read as he looked at the title, "the pop-up edition."

Looking at the toddler, Naruto raised his eyebrow, "Want me to read you a story?"

The boy nodded "Da!"

He was a bit scared to at first, I mean he just had a battle with what he thought was a harmless yet freaky doll but he calmed down and steeled himself, after-all, it was a pop-up book.

"Alright, let's see…"

Opening the book to the first page, he found a creature, something called a tentacle beast and turned to that page, but before he knew it, the page glowed and out popped a slimy green tentacle, wrapping itself around his head and trying to pull him into the book.

"AH HELP IT'S TRYING TO EAT MY HEAD!" he cried, kicking his legs out wildly while Baby Beel giggled.

Hilda's eyes twitched before she swung her umbrella, knocking Naruto in the back of the head and sending the book across the room where it closed on it's own, "Stop being so loud, I'm trying to see what happens next!"


	4. Chapter 4: Sparring Day!

Father and Son

Chapter 4: Sparring Day!

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

For some reason, it won't let me put this under the right crossover thing right now, I'll fix it as soon as I can.

-X-

Standing in the middle of the living room, Hilda held Baby Beel in her arms while watching her fellow blonde get ready to go to the academy. At the moment, he was wrapping bandages around the middle of his thigh on the outside of his pants before strapping on a brown leather pouch filled with sharp knives over that. Naruto also had a larger pouch on his belt filled with other things.

"Maybe I should come too," she mused as he moved to adjusting his sandals, "From what you say, this academy thing is extremely boring and I would not wish to subject the Master to such a thing and could entertain him during that."

"No it'll be fine today," Naruto replied with a small yawn, "Today is Taijutsu review and a sparring day, if nothing else then Baby Beel will enjoy watching as a bunch of kids beat the hell out of each other,"

The boy in her arms nodded sagely, "Da…"

"It'll also give us a chance to strengthen the Zebel spells bond right?"

Hilda nodded slowly, "Yes, as I told you before, as the Master's parent, you are a vessel for his power, the bond will grow with the more opponents you defeat along with the mark."

The teen glanced at the mark on his hand, he hadn't noticed before but smaller marks had appeared near his wrist and had grew slightly ever since he knocked out that villager and beat Kiba within an inch of his life. It hadn't been until Hilda congratulated him on the admittedly small accomplishment did he notice it.

Finished, Naruto sat up and held out his hands for her to hand Baby Beel over, which she did, "I've noticed that I do feel stronger than before," he mentioned while letting Beel crawl over him to hold onto the back of his coat, "Faster too, is this part of the bond?"

"Yes, the Masters power is bettering your physical condition, making you faster and stronger than you already were. It is a way to ensure that the one the Master chooses always has an edge to better protect him."

Sliding his orange sleeve up, Naruto clinched his fist, causing the muscles on his arm to bulge slightly. He had always tried to stay in shape, one of the main reasons that the villagers stopped attacking him was because he started looking like he could handle himself in a fight. Attacking a scrawny little brat was one thing but attacking one with the muscle to fight back was something that made them stop and think. He was by no means ripped but he could take off his shirt and feel good about being in public without being self conscious.

"Here then,"

Hilda's voice broke him from his thoughts to find her holding a messenger bag, "What's this?" he asked while taking it and looking inside.

"It is Master's food, remember that you are to feed him five times a day. Don't forget it."

He nodded, "Don't worry, I know how to do this,"

"Good, now there is three portions here," she continued before he spoke with a small laugh.

"Milk those udders of yours?"

Her eyes narrowed before Naruto found himself sitting there with a large lump on the side of his head that glowed red and smoked. "It is powdered milk suitable for royalty." she simpered with one hand on her hip and the other holding her umbrella.

"So what, are your boobs all dried up?"

***THUNK***

Naruto twitched, another lump on the other side of his head while Beel laughed on his back.

"Listen up," she continued, sounding as if his comment's didn't bother her, "The mild should be the temperature of the underarm of a wyvern that lives on Midolche lake in the Demon World."

"How the hell should I know something like that?" he demanded, making her roll her eyes.

"Honestly, I got that pop up monster book for a reason, if you had read that then you would know that the temperature of such thing is equal to what you know as room-temperature"

"Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

"If you had read the book then you would've known," she simpered while turning away from him.

Naruto sweat dropped, like hell he would be reading that damned book again. In fact, he had taken it and tied the thing shut with wire before throwing it up on the top shelf of his closet. He started to do the same with the other Demon World toys but compared to that book and the Doll, which was still trapped in his freezer, everything else looked innocent enough.

Shaking his head, he stood and placed the strap over head, letting it cross his back and chest to rest at his hip.

"Whatever, I'm heading to class, just… just don't do something like unleash a horde of flesh eating cockroaches or anything while I'm gone please,"

-X-

"Naruto…" Iruka started as he looked at the blonde sitting near the window.

It was still a little early and class hadn't started yet, so Naruto was the first one there shockingly enough and yes, still had his son with him.

"Yes Iruka-sensei?" the blonde answered innocently.

"Don't 'Yes Iruka-sensei' me, you know what I'm about to ask!"

Naruto 'Oh'ed, "Well I decided that I needed to come in a little early, I know it's weird and all since I usually come in last or late…"

The man twitched, "Not… that… why in the world did you bring him with you to class?"

Naruto cocked his head to the side then looked at Baby Beel, "Well I can't just leave him home, what kind of father do you think I am? Besides, the Hokage gave me permission on this,"

"How long have you had him?"

"For awhile now,"

By now, the other students were coming in, sitting down and listening in as the two talked about the blonds son. After he left the other day, Naruto had been the main subject of gossip and rumors all day, ranging from if the boy was in fact his son to who the mother was.

"Are you the only one taking care of him? What about his mother?"

"Well, Hilda-chan does a lot to help out but Baby Beel cries if I get too far from him, and I hate it when he cries."

When he said that last part, everyone swore that his eyes turned red, but afterward he smiled and grinned, leading them to believe that it was just the light shining or something.

"Hilda?" Iruka repeated, "Is that the mother?"

"Oh yeah that's right, you haven't met her yet. Yeah she's Baby Beel's mother… and my wife."

That one word sounded like a explosion, echoing over and over in the room.

"WIFE!?" everyone repeated in shock.

The blonde turned and looked at them strangely, "Y'all didn't know? I thought that Kiba would've told everyone by now."

"Kiba hasn't been to class the past few days,"

"Oh yeah," Naruto mused with a dark chuckle, "I forgot about that,"

"Huh?"

"A while back, I was walking with Hilda and Baby Beel… he said some things and attacked me, with Beel still on my back might I add. Anyway, he threw some shuriken at us and ended up breaking Baby Beel's favorite rattle." he mused while tickling the toddler sitting on the desk, making him giggle, making the girls in class 'aw' at them. "I hate it when he cries and that rattle was one of the only ways to calm him down. So I beat Kiba up and knocked out every tooth in his mouth. Isn't that right Baby Beel?"

"Da-bu!"

Images of Naruto viscously attacking Kiba as the little kid giggled not too far away entered their minds.

But before anything else was said, the bell rang, starting class for the day.

-X-

In no time at all, the entire class was outside on a open stretch of grass that was used as a sparring area by the older classes. But in the center there was a small dirt circle that had been made as a ring for two to fight in. A little ways away there was the academy playground, separated from the field by a chain link fence that kept the younger students from wondering off and getting lost as well as keeping them from going over and mixing in with the older students and possibly getting hurt.

Iruka started off by pairing two girls up to spar and having the other students back away. Many stood by to watch a little ways from the ring but a few went off to hang out further away, waiting for them to be called.

Naruto sighed, "Well Baby Beel looks like we got to wait for a good fight," he mused while the toddler crawled up to sit on his head, wanting to watch the fight, "Trust me, these girls aren't worth watching, they'd rather spend their time doing hair and looking pretty than practice."

Beel soon found out that Naruto was right and crawled back down looking dejected.

"Don't worry," the teen said after seeing the look, "it'll get better soon…"

Moving away from everyone, he took Baby Beel in his arms so that he could sit down and lean against a tree, letting the toddler sit in his lap.

-X-

A little ways away from him, Naruto had numerous eyes watching him.

"I can't believe that Naruto's got a kid!" whispered Ino Yamanaka as she and a group of other girls did their gossip thing, even Sakura, her fan girl rival for Uchiha Sasuke was there with them, watching and talking about this new development.

"Yeah, I know right. Who'd wanna have one with an idiot like him?" Sakura sneered while looking at the two.

Another girl shook her head, "I don't know about him being an idiot anymore," she said looking unsure, "My big sister had a baby when she was in school a few years ago, she went from straight A's to nearly failing because of it. He looks like he takes being a dad serious so he probably skipped class and never studied because he wanted to take care of his son."

"But he's always been an immature idiot," the pink haired girl argued back.

Ino looked at her, "Sakura we're still young, of course he was immature, but think back, he's been getting more serious about things for awhile now, he's even stopped calling you 'Sakura-chan'… actually, he barely even looks at you anymore now that I think about it."

"Well he did say that he was married now," some other gossiper supplied.

"Hey that's right!"

-X-

Peeking from around a tree, Hinata trembled as she spied on Naruto as he played with Beel. She had a crush on him for the longest time, watching him from the corner of her eyes when they were in the same room, following him around sometimes and watching from around the corner. She had wanted to confess to him and tell him how she felt but could never work up the courage, fainting whenever she got too close or running away when he walked toward her.

'Naruto-kun has a wife!' she mentally screamed at herself while mentally ripping out her hair, 'an adorable son too!'

Her dreams… shattered. Images of her wedding with Naruto gone, an adorable blond haired baby with his blue eyes… gone, replaced by a faceless woman and a naked green haired baby with matching eyes. If only his son looked like him, blonde with blue eyes, that way at least she could continue to dream.

At this point all she could picture was a happy green eyed, green haired woman holding Naruto's son while he had his arm around her. The only thing that matched her dream child with Naruto was the fact that his son had the same spiky mop of hair.

"Hinata, it's your turn!" called Iruka, breaking her from her thoughts.

"O-ok Sensei,"

-X-

"Da-bu…" Beel growled out slowly with narrowed green eyes as he sat on Naruto's lap, hands in his lap as he saw the pathetic fight end. Naruto had the same look, hunched foreword with his legs crossed and a hand on each knee.

"I know," he growled back, "Want to color?"

Baby Beel instantly brightened, "Da!"

Smiling, Naruto reached into the messenger bag and pulled out a box of crayons and a coloring book that he brought from home, having foreseen this problem before heading out the door, "Here you go, have at it,"

Watching, Naruto grimaced at the picture Baby Beel started coloring… or more like scribbled all over. It was probably the least dangerous Demon World toy Hilda bought along with the crayons, but instead of simple cartoon pictures of trees, smiling suns, flowers, and animals it was something like a cartoon Halloween hell on steroids. The crayons were normal, but it was the names that differed from normal ones, while it did have the names like Red, Green, and Black, it also had another name below the first, Red was Spilt Blood, Green was Snot, and Black was Charred Bones.

"Hn, since when do you have a son?"

Naruto glanced over while Baby Beel busied himself with coloring a demon dog attacking a demon cat to see Sasuke standing there with his arms crossed, "Since when did you care?" he shot back smoothly without missing a beat.

"I don't,"

"Then why bother asking if you don't,"

"Just answer me already,"

The blonde chuckled, "Do I really have to explain where babies come from? We'll I guess I could get a hotdog and doughnut for a visual aid… or you could ask one of your fan girls, I'm sure they'd love to show you how to make a son."

Sasuke closed his eyes, "Why'd I even bother asking," he muttered before walking away.

Soon, all the girls were finished with their matches and it was the boy's turn. There had been a few good matches that Beel watched while others he just ignored and went back to coloring. It had taken a while but soon, Iruka called for Sasuke and Naruto to come up.

Sasuke came up with a smirk on his face but Naruto didn't.

"Naruto!" Iruka called out as everyone looked around.

"Oi I'm a little fucking busy right now!" he yelled back.

When they all looked, they found him sitting with a small burner heating up a portable metal tea pot that had just started steaming from the spout. In front of him was a thing of powdered milk with a grinning mouth full of sharp teeth as it's logo with a glass milk bottle sat next to it.

Baby Beel sat in his lap, waiting for his bottle and watching the blonde's hands like a hawk.

"Hurry up dobe," Sasuke said, "I'll make this quick,"

The blonde had just put a scoop in of the powder in the bottle when he said that and looked up with a glare, "I said I'm busy. He's hungry and if I don't feed him he'll cry, and if he cries you'll all regret it!"

Both father and son were glaring darkly at them before going back to the task at hand. Taking the hot water, Naruto poured it into the bottle and placed the top on before shaking it good.

Everyone watched with a sweat drop, this was… new, to see Naruto go from violent teen to caring father in mere seconds as he finished shaking it and stuck it to his cheek.

"Are you done yet?" Sasuke demanded.

"Do I look like I'm done?!" Naruto shot back, eye twitching, "I have to wait for it to cool first, what'll I do if it burns him?"

"…"

The clearing fell into a tense silence.

"Alright, here you go Baby Beel," Naruto said with a smile before handing him the bottle and sitting him on the grass. Making a hand seal, Naruto summoned a shadow clone and patted the toddler on the head, "Now be good for the clone while I'm gone, I gotta kick the taste outta the bastard's mouth ok?"

"Da-bu!"

"Idiot, Bunshin's can't touch things!" Sakura called out, trying to make him look stupid, only to look stupid herself when the clone not only touched Baby Beel but picked him up so that he could watch while he ate.

Walking into the dirt ring, Naruto popped the bones in his neck, "I'm gonna enjoy making you squeal while I beat you," he hissed out, making everyone around them blink in shock.

He had never sounded so evil before… he was showing a darker side. Just goes to show that one didn't fuck with a father taking care of his kid.

"Yeah right," Sasuke shot back, "Keep telling yourself that,"

Iruka started the match, inwardly wondering if he made the right choice in pairing these two up for the sparing match.

Sasuke started advancing while Naruto stayed still, "I'll end it quick!" he smirked before throwing the first punch at Naruto's face.

Flesh and bone struck flesh and bone, making the other students blink.

Naruto had caught it with his left hand, grinning and showing pointed teeth, "Squeal!"

The Uchiha blinked before dropping to his knees. Grabbing at his wrist as his hand was crushed in an ungodly grip, he actually cried out before being caught in the face with a powerful right hook that sent him to the ground.

"Come on Uchiha, don't tell me that's all you got," he mocked, making the other teen growl as he stood. Patting his cheek, Naruto grinned, "Come on and I'll even let you get a free hit,"

Pissed that he was being mocked, Sasuke tried to punch the teen in a rage only to stumble when Naruto leaned out of the way, leaving him open for a strike.

"Burying punch!" Naruto yelled, bringing down his fist and punching Sasuke hard enough in the back of the head to send his entire head down into the dirt, only stopping when his shoulders struck the ground.

"Hahaha, I can't believe you fell for that." Naruto mused coldly as Sasuke's body went limp, "Not so full of yourself anymore eh?"

"I… I don't believe it," Ino gaped as Naruto dusted himself off and walked away.

Sakura sputtered out denials that Naruto must've cheated somehow.

'Naruto… you really have grown,' Iruka thought as he watched Naruto pick up his son. He couldn't believe how much he had improved and changed, it seemed like just yesterday when Sasuke busted Naruto's nose two minutes into their first sparring match a couple years ago and now, he finally got his revenge like he said he would.

-X-

"My Kami…" Hiruzen exclaimed after watching Naruto make Sasuke imitate a ostrich, "At this rate he'll be stronger than Tsunade without using chakra!"

_To be continued…_

-X-

Here's a quick chapter so please review, as anyone that knows me here will tell you I'm addicted to reviews and can't wait to read them!


	5. Chapter 5: Genin at Last and Beel's Test

Father and Son

Chapter 5: Genin at Last and Beel's Test

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

For some reason, it won't let me put this under the right crossover thing right now, I'll fix it as soon as I can.

-X-

Hiruzen had seen a lot in his day, things that some would consider miracles, heard stories that seemed like the illogical ramblings of a drunk, he's even gotten mission reports in the past that he had investigated due to their strangeness. But never in his life had he heard a story like this, much less read it on a incident report.

"ANBU responding to a distress call at 1 PM today report finding Chunin Academy Instructor Umino, Iruka laying in a puddle of water, covered in bruises, and trembling as he muttered things under his breath. He is now being treated by Inochi Yamanaka for emotional and mental scars, so severe that they may need to remove the memories in question completely." He repeated before looking up and staring at the person across from him. "I don't need to tell you that you're the prime suspect in this, but as always, there are two sides of the story. So answer me this, did you do this?"

"Really old man," Naruto deadpanned, "Why would I beat Iruka up in my own apartment? I'm the one that alerted the ANBU for Kami's sake!"

Baby Beel nodded from atop the blonde's head.

Raising his hand in a calming motion, the old man nodded, "I believe you Naruto, I just had to make sure that it was clear between us. But I don't have to tell you that there are other people who won't take your word for it, so before this whole ordeal is blown out of proportion tell me the truth, what happened to Iruka?"

"Well…"

-X-

After his match, Iruka dismissed everyone for lunch since it was almost time for their usual lunch break. Not wanting to stick around for the rest of the matches, which he knew would be a bore since there were only a few that actually had the skill to be a ninja here in the class, he took Baby Beel and took to the trees, easily escaping since Iruka hauled Sasuke's ass to the nurse.

Upon returning home, he laid the toddler down for a nap and started practicing some jutsu for the next hour after eating the small bento that Hilda made for him. It had been spicy… and by that he meant that fire spewed from his nose and made his lips swell up and glow red. It was probably the only time Naruto refused to finish a meal. Speaking of Hilda, he had no idea where she was.

But around one, Iruka showed up knocking on his door, angry that he had skipped class again.

"NARUTO WHAT ARE YOU-" the man started to yell only to be hit in the face by a spicy beef, which seemed to hiss and sizzle from the spice as it stuck to his forehead. After scrambling to rip the piece of food off, leaving a burning red mark in the shape of the beef, he looked to his attacker.

Naruto glared at the man then pointed to where Beel was snoring on the couch, wordlessly telling the man that if he woke him up then there would be trouble.

But it was too late, Beel sat up and glared, looking around as tears started building up.

"Hush now, don't cry," The blonde cooed, instantly appearing next to the toddler with the rattle and shaking it softly, "I'll kick Iruka's ass in a little while for waking you up so don't cry now, remember what I told you before about crying."

Iruka watched this with a sweat drop, even though the blond was speaking to his son softly he was glaring in his direction the whole time.

Before he knew it, Baby Beel was back to sleep and the blonde signed a sigh of relief.

"I'm gonna get you for that Iruka," he growled lowly before standing, "Now what the hell do you want."

"Class isn't over yet, you need to get your ass back now and study for the exam."

"As long as I pass it won't matter, what does watching people spar gonna do to help me?"

Iruka glared, "It doesn't matter, you need to be in class,"

Naruto's eye twitched before the preverbal light bulb popped on, "Alright fine," he huffed, seemingly giving in, "But I can't leave Beel home alone and if I'm going to wake him up then I need you to bring me his favorite snack."

"Alright, what is it?"

"Ice-cream… it's in my freezer,"

Watching as Iruka nodded and walked into the kitchen, Naruto made a shadow clone that turned into a set of earplugs and placed them in Beel's ears before walking towards the kitchen to watch.

"Ah, Naruto, why's your tied shut?"

"To keep it from opening on it's own and wasting power," he replied evenly.

The man shrugged and undid the knot before moving the wire down and opening it.

But before he knew it, Iruka was knocked to the floor as a shivering assassination doll caught him by surprise, latching onto his face while bashing him over the head repeatedly with a plastic ice tray, sending ice cubes flying everywhere. This continued for the next ten minutes before he decided that Iruka had enough, separating the two by punting the clown doll away and trapping it in the freezer again.

-X-

"… and that's what happened," Naruto finished with a solemn nod, making both the Hokage and the hidden ANBU guards in the room sweat drop.

"Naruto…" he started before stopping to rub the bridge between his eyes, "Do you honestly expect me to believe that you have some kind of possessed doll is trapped in your freezer and that- what are you doing? What is that?"

Naruto reached under his chair and pulled out a pet carrier that they didn't notice before which was shaking violently as he held it by the handle on top, "You see, I kind of figured that you wouldn't believe me on this so I brought proof. Baby Beel, would you hop off right quick?"

"Da-bu,"

As Beel crawled down and hopped into the chair, Naruto took the still shaking carrier and set it up to where the metal cage faced the ceiling.

"Oi, you gonna be good and cooperate this time?" he said while peering down into the darkness as the cage calmed down before shaking one hard time, jumping a good foot off the floor at the blondes face.

"You little mother fu-" Naruto started to curse before pushing up his left sleeve, opening the door and reaching in, "I'll teach you to respect your master, come here you little bastard!"

The Hokage and ANBU leaned forward as the pet carrier resumed it's violent shaking, Naruto cursing at the thing as he grabbed at whatever was in there for the next minute before ripping his arm from the carrier and throwing a doll on the floor. It measured just over a foot tall and landed with a surprisingly heavy thump before starting to move again, shocking the other ninja. But before it could get up, Naruto pinned it down by stomping on it's back, making it throw it's head back with a soundless cry of pain.

"Oh my Kami!" Hiruzen gaped, standing up to look over his desk at the little doll.

It wiggled around under the teen's foot but not enough to make it hard to see. It's 'skin' was light blue, rather or not from being locked in Naruto's freezer he didn't know, the thing's hair was made of thick orange string-like material and it wore a patch work pair of Violet-red overalls with purple shoes and a yellow long sleeved sweater that was also patched up in places. But the creepiest part of it was it's large mouth full of pointed teeth, large round eyes, and the two round purple spots on the cheeks that was suppose to be a kind of blush while a small red ball was attached as it's nose.

"I know right, the little thing tried to kill me once," Naruto exclaimed while digging his heel into it's back, much to Baby Beel's delight, "You should've seen it before, it had a long ice pick and a sharp kitchen knife too." He put even more pressure on it, "Isn't that right you little bastard!"

"What is that thing?"

Naruto shrugged, not wanting to tell him that it was a Demon World toy, "Who knows, but as soon as I'm done taming it, it'll be my underling bitch!" he chuckled evilly with a few more stomps.

"But how could a doll hurt someone?" the old man questioned, sitting back down, "It's made of cloth right?"

Holding up his arm (The one that didn't have the Zebel Spell), Naruto showed the series of red bite marks and scratches, "It's teeth are plastic I think, maybe I should pull 'em out to see!"

"So what are you going to do with that thing? Or maybe you should just give it to me, I'll have it locked away so that it can't hurt anyone, after-all, you do have a son to watch out for." the Hokage pointed out, he didn't want that toddler getting hurt by the doll but at the same time Naruto did seem to have a handle on things.

"Oh I got this old man, I'll have this thing acting like an obedient puppy before you know it,"

Reaching down, he picked the doll up by the scruff of it's neck, revealing a footprint on it's back.

"Naruto-kun… is that doll crying?"

Raising an eyebrow, Naruto turned the doll around to find it sobbing soundlessly, "It looks like it, but as far as I'm concerned, it's trying to trick us."

And with that, the teen spun around and slam dunked the doll back into the carrier before slamming the cage door shut, "If were done here old man, I gotta go to the pet store!"

Raising an eyebrow at the suddenly smiling blonde, the Hokage watched as Naruto helped Baby Beel back up hanging on to the back of his coat and picked up the carrier, "Pet store?"

"Yep, gotta get some training stuff for this thing now that I got my stipend, how much you think one of those 500,000 volt shock collars are? Oh well I'll find out, if you see Iruka tell 'em that I said get well soon,"

-X-

"I'm back!" called Hilda evenly as she walked into the apartment to find Naruto and Baby Beel watching TV together, well Beel was watching some show about a strange cartoon character named Gohan-kun who was a guy with a bowl of rice for a head with a red bed sheet tied around his neck like a cape while the main villain was called Count Poo… you can imagine what his head was…

Naruto had the Assassin Doll sitting in a metal animal cage in the corner of the room with a combination lock keeping it shut while a miniature ball and chain was attached to it's leg.

"Oh hey, Hilda," greeted the teen with a grin, "Where'd you go today?"

"I had to go to the Demon World,"

That made the blonde grimace, the last couple of times she went there, she came back with numerous Demon toy, exhibit A being in the cage.

"The Great Demon Lord has sent word that the Master is to take an assessment test," She announced while walking over to them, holding a purple card that had 'GOOD LUCK!' written on the outside while holding a small book under it. "The Master needs to defeat 100 humans within the next week, you get 1 point for every human. Less than 30 points and you fail."

"Really?" Naruto huffed, "I mean I got my own test in… two days, how can I help him when I have to worry about my own?"

Hilda fixed him with a blank stare, "Because if he fails, it will not only effect him but you will suffer as well. If he fails…" she trailed off, freaking him out when she started looking frightened, "A hellish remedial awaits him in a special room in the Demon World… and as the Master's parent, you will join him."

In his mind, Chibi Naruto sat at a desk on top of a round, spiked ball similar to a flail in the middle of a boiling ocean of blood while Chibi Beel sat next to him. Both being forced to do worksheet after worksheet while some hellish creature lorded over them.

Handing him the small handbook, she turned it to a page and pointed it out, "Here are a list of things that the Master can defeat and their point values, as I said before, a normal human counts is one point as you can see here,"

Looking it over, Naruto raised an eyebrow at the many entries, who wrote this stuff and thought of the points values? Closing it, he rubbed his face, trying to think of a way to do this, there was no way he could get away with beating the hell out of 100 people in a week. He'd just have to deal with his own test and hope to hell that he could come up with something before it was too late and he got sent to the Hell of the Demon World… summer school.

-X-

"Well Baby Beel that was surprisingly easy," Naruto mused while adjusting tying his newly acquired headband to his arm after passing the exam. He would've tied it to his head but with Beel being a lightning strike waiting to happen, he decided to forego a zap to the head and went with a lesser target area. There had been other places he could've tied it but his arm seemed the safest. For example, wearing it as a belt made a certain piece of equipment into a lightning rod…

With the Shadow Clones, it was a cinch to pass the test, he had already mastered the substitution and henge or transformation jutsu to some so all he had to worry about was the written part but for all the history lessons they'd been forced to go through, he found it to be simple things that a civilian could answer.

"Now all we gotta go is find a way to get at least 30 points for your test…"

Little did he know that it was much easier said than done.

Over the next few day, Naruto tried his best to help Baby Beel with his test and used the handbook to keep tallies of how many of what the toddler beat. Beel was so pumped up and ready for a battle that upon seeing something he thought that he could beat he'd crawl down from the blonde and face off with it.

The first being a stray cat that had passed them in the park.

Beel got on all fours in front of it and glared, small arcs of lightning arcing from him while the teen flipped through the book and found the section for cats, which informed him that 10 cats would get him 1 points. But by the time he finished reading it the cat had scratched Beel and ended up fried, as did the teen.

He didn't know if it counted but he marked it off as a win, after-all, the cat was twitching on the ground and Beel was ok. He soon found out that the book, like a lot of things in the Demon World, was special and could tell if the points were genuine or not. Not that he planned on cheating, he was still a little nervous of Demon World things to be cutting corners of something like this.

It could also automatically add points itself if Beel were to do something that was worth points without Naruto realizing.

Later on, Baby Beel proudly showed him a tiny Pill Bug all rolled up on itself defensively, only 999 more and he'd have 1 point.

But now he was headed up to see the Hokage with a napping Beel on his back who somehow managed to cling onto him while snoring lightly. The old man wanted to congratulate him personally for graduating. At a glance, one wouldn't suspect that anything was up but on the inside, he was worried as hell over this assessment thing. He didn't want to get the old man involved because he still hadn't told him about Beel being the son of the 'Great Demon Lord' and that he'd been sent here to destroy humanity.

"Hey dead last!" Kiba yelled from behind him.

And if he had to tell the old man about Beel being a Demon Lord then he'd have to tell him about all the other things, letting him know that he's been keeping secrets like this and destroying the trust they had.

"Hey I'm talking to you!"

And with that trust gone there was no telling what else the old man would start questioning. He'd probably have him sent to a Yamanaka or the interrogation department just to make sure he was still in fact himself and not a spy of some sort trying to use his relationship with the old man to infiltrate and assassinate the Hokage

"HEY LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING YOU IDIOT!"

Naruto stopped and turned to glare at Kiba before grabbing him by the front of his coat, "What do you want you fucking mutt? Do you need another dose of pain and a trip to the medics again?"

Kiba shoved him back, "No, I'm gonna beat you ass and show you who's the top dog around here,"

Little did they both know that with Kiba's yell, Baby Beel started to wake up, but with the shove jarring him, the toddler awoke with a fury.

"I've beat your half-breed ass already you little bitch, you think I'm scared of you? You're all bark and no bite… hey look, I just made a joke without trying."

"FUCK YOU! I'm gonna beat you twice as bad now, do you know how fucking annoying these new teeth are!"

Naruto froze when he felt the tiny hands holding onto his coat tighten against him, "Oh fuck,"

"That's right you'd better be scared!" the boy exclaimed, giving an arrogant smirk before everything went white.

***KEYAAAAAAAAAAAA***

The last thing Kiba heard before passing out and pissing himself, was Baby Beel's loud scream.

Glancing over his shoulder, Naruto looked at the grumpy toddler blandly, "Baby Beel what do I keep telling you… If your gonna grow up to be a man then you can't cry over every little thing." he started while walking away, leaving Kiba shaking from 'after-shocks' in a puddle of urine while Akamaru, who had stayed a good distance away, shook his head and walked off to get his partner some help, thinking of what he did in a past life to deserve such an idiot as his human partner.

-X-

Entering the Inuzuka Veterinary clinic, Akamaru huffed and trotted over to Hana Inuzuka, Kiba's older sister.

"Oh hey Akamaru, let me guess… my idiot little brother got his ass handed to him again and needs to be carried back home."

The pup nodded.

"Hmm, looks like I won the bet with Ma. Just hold on, let me close the clinic for the day."

-X-

"I just don't know what to do! I can't just attack someone or else my ass is done for here in the village but I don't wanna go to a class in the Demon World," Naruto cried as he sat on the floor that night, "Not only that but now the ANBU team that guards the old man is mad at me! I just know that the next time I go in, I'm getting tackled to the ground and given a body cavity search as a sick and twisted form of revenge."

As she fed the child, Hilda peered over to the teen with a bland look, "What are you babbling about? The assessment test is over."

Naruto shot up to his feet in a panic, "WHAT! I thought that I still had a day left to enjoy life before being taken to hell!"

"Why in the Great Demon Lord's name would you be taken to the Demon World?"

"Because Baby Beel didn't get at least 30 points on that damn test!" he nearly yelled, "Don't you remember? Hellish summer school and all that?"

She stared at him for a minute, "What are you going on about? The Master past his test with a perfect score."

"Huh?"

She sighed, pulling out the handbook and throwing it to him.

He glanced at her before opening it to the page with the score, only to find that Beel had a 105 with an A+ next to it. Confused, he started flipping through the pages until he came across a section he hadn't read before and nearly dropped to his knees in shock.

Electrocuting Kiba Inuzuka, who had taken the genin test late but was still technically a genin, gave Beel 5 points for beating a genin level ninja. He had also gotten 50 from beating the Hokage as well as another 50 for beating two ANBU.

You see, he had forgotten to bring Baby Beel a bottle while going to the Hokage's office, Beel liked to have his bottle after a nap so when Kiba woke him up, he started getting hungry and by the time Naruto was in the tower, Beel was a ticking time bomb that went off, electrocuting him, the ANBU and the old man.

"Yatta!"

Hilda flinched at the sudden cheer from the blonde before blushing as he wrapped her in his arms for a hug.

"I'm not going to hell! I'm not going to hell! I'm not going to hell!" he sang, lifting her and seeing as Beel was in her arms, the toddler up and jumping around. "I'm so excited that I could just kiss you… but I won't because I know that you'll hit me."

An annoying clanking noise came from the side as the caged clown doll ran a ten cup over the bars.

"How dare you ruin this joyful moment!" the teen glared before taking his sandal and throwing it at the cage, never seeing that Hilda had leaned forward with her lips puckered for said kiss, only to realize what she was going a moment later.

Shaking her head lightly to clear her mind, Hilda sat back down to finish with the feeding, closing her eyes with a small smile on her face as she listened to the wonderful sound… of Naruto attacking that doll. He seemed to have a sick obsession with making it an obedient slave. It seemed that the bond between him and the Master were growing stronger with each day.

If it continued this way, he just may turn into a full demon before they knew it.

_To be continued…_

-X-

Just review.


	6. Chapter 6: Hilda's Gotta Sister?

Father and Son

Chapter 6: Hilda's Gotta Sister?

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

For some reason, it won't let me put this under the right crossover thing right now, I'll fix it as soon as I can.

-X-

(I don't know if I mentioned this or not but Naruto is taller than the other genin now and Hilda is slightly taller than him.)

'Now let's see here,' thought Kakashi as he stood on the roof of the academy with his three students. They had all just introduced themselves and he was fighting a loud groan as he realized that he had his work cut out for him.

His first student, the 'Rookie of the year' Uchiha Sasuke was a borderline head case whose soul drive in life happened to be avenging his family by killing his older brother Itachi. The obsession his brother was so intense that with the very whisper of the name 'Itachi' Sasuke would most likely run off to find and try to kill the man no matter the cost.

Next was Sakura, the smartest girl in class. She was just as bad but unlike Sasuke, who focused on training, she focused on Sasuke trying to get a date with him while trying to belittle the third teammate.

Speaking of which, the final member of Team Seven was Uzumaki Naruto… or final members if you counted the toddler that seemed to cling onto Naruto's back. He was a veritable wildcard, labeled at the 'Dead Last' and yet capable of beating Sasuke in a Taijutsu match with ease. His file was also amusing to read, if given enough time, he was sure that someone could've used that information to write one hell of an underdog story.

The blond had started out as the weakest but now was the unofficial strongest, if only Lord Jiraiya would turn it into an Icha-Icha series…

But the teen wasn't without his faults, recently he's been getting much more violent and didn't pull any punches in a fight, physical or verbal. Just recently, he made Sakura nearly cry when she said that what she hated was 'Ino-pig' and 'Naruto-baka' in her introduction, even saying that he had a lot more cooked up just for her if she wanted to keep on insulting him.

Shaking his head, he told them to meet him at training ground seven at seven in the morning for a survival test, making Sakura question in by saying that they already went through that training in the academy. Informing them about the true genin test, telling them when to show up and not to eat or else they'll throw up, he left them behind on the roof top and vanished off into the village, wondering if training them would be worth it and if he should just fail them and be done with it.

"Listen you two," Sasuke started while looking at them coldly, "If you hold me back, you'll regret it."

Hearing that made Naruto crack a smirk, "Funny, I was just about to say the same thing," he mused with Baby Beel glaring at them over his shoulder.

"Don't talk to Sasuke-kun like that Baka!" Sakura snapped, "He's so much better than you,"

"Listen here pinky," the blonde snapped, glaring at her, "I'm just about fucking tired of hearing your mouth, I already warned you once. I'll deal with being sorted on a team with you two but I'll be damned before I let someone like you talk shit to me."

"Someone like me!?" The girl shot back, "And what's that suppose to mean Baka?!"

The teen took a threatening step toward her, "Do I have to spell it out?" he growled, "You're a pathetic little excuse of a ninja, hiding behind you books and trying to impress a homosexual by being a walking textbook. Then you try and take your anger out on someone else but in the end, I doubt that you'll get Sasuke… wanna know why?"

She had taken a frightened step back and tried to be brave to answer, only to choke on the words.

"Because no one want's a weak, useless little girl like you and in the end, all you'll ever be good at is laying on your back and spreading your legs for any drunk with enough change left over after a drinking binge at some seedy little bar." He finished before smirking at her as she ran off sobbing, "Well come on Baby Beel, let's go on home, I'm in the mood for some of Hilda-chans spicy stir-fry!"

Sasuke watched at Naruto hopped off the roof, whistling to himself and sweat dropped.

-X-

"Anyone got a visual of our target?" Kakashi asked as the team leader during their mission. It was a hunt and retrieve mission to find an escaped beast that had roamed the Land of Fire causing trouble, pain, and suffering in all that went against it. It was a horrid beast, known for carving the faces of those unfortunate enough to lay hands on it, turning a normal ninja into a screaming lump as it raked each claw across their face.

It was this beast that Team Seven was assigned to capture.

***KEYAAAAAAAAAA***

The forest glowed blue/white for a few moments before the radios worn by the team crackled to life.

"Got 'em!" Naruto exclaimed over his end before letting out a small cough, "A little singed but it still has the ribbon on it's ear."

"Everyone regroup, Naruto has captured the target."

-X-

Removing the ear bud and the small radio band from around his neck, Naruto sighed while sitting on his ass in a thicket of bushes and vines. Next to him was their target for the mission, Tora the cat, pet to the Fire Lord's Wife, twitching on the ground as a small line of steam floated from it's darkened fur.

Beel pouted on his father's knee, still charged up with small arcs surrounding him every now and then.

"Baby Beel," The teen started softly while patting the toddler's head, getting shocked by one of the electrical discharges but calming the child down, "I know that your itching to get stronger, but you can't just hop off my back and charge an opponent like you did,"

The boy gained a depressed look.

When they finally found the cat, Naruto started to alert his team to tell them that he found the target, but before he could, the toddler slid down from off his back and crawled over to where Tora was laying in the sunlight near the bushes he now sat in. It wasn't until the teen heard the boy start whining did he turn to notice that Beel was waving his arms while looking at him, Tora's mouth firmly clamped over the kid's tiny fist. But unlike the other times, Beel didn't start crying just as soon as he normally would, giving the teen a good half-minute to scramble over and try to get Tora off of the boy before both he and the cat were fried.

"Cause if you end up getting hurt then Hilda's gonna gut me, but if you really do want to train and get stronger, I'll help you, I'm sure that Hilda will too," He continued while ruffling the boy's short spiky green hair, "But first let's finish this mission and get paid, I forgot about me losing most of my stipend now that I'm a ninja, it's a good thing that the old man's been looking out for us heh?"

"Da-bu,"

Lifting the calm and happy demon toddler up over his head and onto his back, Naruto then stood up and grabbed the cat before bounding through the forest towards the meeting spot. He just knew that he'd have to listen to Sakura bitch about doing something to the cat.

-X-

"Naruto-baka, what did you do to that poor cat!" the girl all but demanded as she saw it's twitching form in his hand, making his eye twitch.

While Kakashi had told them that he didn't approve of them calling each other names he really didn't do or say anything else about it, but when he heard Naruto once again reduce her to tears with some well placed insults he put a stop to it. Something about weakening the team and grudges. So Sakura started back with calling him an idiot while he got more creative.

"I captured it USB-chan," he replied nicely, making them wonder what the name meant.

"Look at it stupid! We were told to catch it not kill it."

"It's still breathing, so technically I followed orders, at least this way I won't have to worry about it running away or scratching someone's face off…" he shot back before muttering just loud enough for them to hear, "Which would be an improvement for you,"

"Sakura, Naruto enough," Kakashi huffed while rubbing his eye with his free hand, the other holding his porn book, "Let's just take Tora-chan to the Hokage and complete our mission,"

With that the left the forest and started to the Hokage's tower, Kakashi in the rear with Naruto leading while Sakura stuck close to Sasuke, trying to have a conversation with him and saying that Naruto needed to come up with better names, but seeing as he was stupid it probably took him all day to think of.

"Actually USB-chan, I thought it was pretty cleaver, it describes your skill level and can tell someone what you are." the blonde shot over his shoulder, "As a ninja USB, or You Suck Balls and in the end your still a USB, a Useless Stupid Bitch."

"Naruto…"

"Fine, fine, fine. I won't call her that anymore," he huffed, "Ignorance is bliss I guess."

-X-

It had been a week since Team Seven became official and Kakashi was at his wits end, dealing with those three… or four if you counted Naruto's son. It was driving him insane and if it wasn't for his training in resisting torture like how to block things out, allowing him to focus on Icha-Icha, he would've snapped and went Itachi on them.

He tried to teach teamwork and his 'those that break the rules are trash while those that abandon their team are lower than trash' lessons but none seemed to listen or care. Sasuke believed that he only needed himself, Sakura thought that Sasuke would always be there to protect her, and Naruto…

Well it was easy to see the hate that the blonde had for his female teammate, he guessed that the blond couldn't just pine away for the girl like he did as a child and be scorned every day by her and continue to care for said girl, right?

Sasuke barely had anything to do with the other two that wasn't necessary, he ignored Sakura 99 percent of the time and didn't start any conversations with Naruto… nor anyone else, in fact all he seemed to do was come to team meetings for missions then went home.

Walking into the Jounin meeting that had been scheduled for the day, on time much to the shock of everyone else, he took his place with the others, ignoring their staring.

"Kakashi… are you feeling ok?"

Turning to the woman, further shocking them when he didn't pull out his porn, he raised an eyebrow, "Yeah I am, Kurenai… why do you ask?"

"Well… your here on time."

"I am?" he muttered in surprise before shaking his head and rubbing it, "It's my team, they're driving me up a wall. I'm not even acting like myself anymore."

"Oh it can't be that bad my eternal rival!" Gai chuckled, "After all, they passed your youthful test, any team that can pass that fresh out of the academy must be in the middle of their springtime of youth!"

Asuma rubbed his beard, "You know… now that you mention it… you never did tell us how they passed."

FLASHBACK

"You either pass us or your porn's gonna be my sons new coloring book!" Naruto threatened him while holding the book in one hand and Baby Beel in the other, who was holding a set of markers and giggling madly.

FLASHBACK END

"I don't wanna talk about it,"

They started to continue pressing for information but the arrival of the Hokage put an end to it as they started the meeting.

-X-

"I don't see why we have to go and get that idiot," Sakura griped as she and Sasuke headed to the old apartment complex where Naruto lived. This morning, they had been waiting at their usual meeting area, a small bridge over a stream, when Kakashi showed up only to notice that Naruto wasn't there. But it didn't matter, telling them that he had a meeting to go to, he told them to make sure to return a little after lunch and to tell Naruto about this.

"Hn,"

"I mean we're better off without him anyway, you're so much better than him Sasuke-kun!"

Arriving, they walked up the stairs to where Kakashi told them to go.

"This place is a dump," Sakura continued to talk as they passed poorly kept walls and doors, it seemed that Naruto was the only person living there. "I'm gonna need a bath after being here."

Sasuke felt his eye twitch, while he didn't really care either way about either of his teammates he was starting to get annoyed with Sakura's constant babbling.

Ignoring her once again, Sasuke knocked on the door while Sakura called out, "Come on Naruto-baka, open the door already…" she trailed off when the door opened and there stood a blond, but not the one they were looking for or even expecting for that matter.

Standing about a half foot taller than them was an slightly older and very attractive blond woman wearing a black gothic maid's uniform with matching black boots that went up to just below her knee and were laced all the way to the top. She also had on a pair of long black gloves that went past her elbows. If they hadn't known better, they would've sworn that she was related to Ino in some way, with how she wore her hair.

"What do you two want?" Hilda snapped venomously as she fed Baby Beel, holding the end of the bottle for him while he held the front with his little hands.

Snapping out of her shock, Sakura cleared her throat, "We're looking for Naruto and-"

The woman cut her off, "He's in the bath, besides I doubt that he'd even want to deal with-"

"It's alright Hilda," spoke Naruto as he walked into view with nothing but his pant on, rubbing his hair vigorously with a towel, "I'm out now,"

She hummed before turning away from the two at the door, "Then you see what they want, it's almost time for my shows,"

The teen shook his head as he finished drying his hair and placed the towel around his neck, watching her as she walked past him and sat back down on the couch just as her soaps started. He then turned to the two at his door and frowned, "What do you two want? I was actually having a good day until now,"

"Sensei sent us to tell you that we have a team meeting after lunch," Sakura muttered before pointing to the other blond, "But more importantly who is that?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow before snorting, "I don't see how it's any of your fucking business but if you must know, she's my wife."

Sasuke stared at her before sneering and shoving his hands in his pockets, "Since when'd you have tattoos dope?"

Hearing her crush's voice made Sakura look to what he was talking about and saw that the teen in front of them had a series of red tribal markings going around and up his arm, stopping just below his shoulder.

"For a while now," He shrugged, "It's still not any of your business,"

"Oh stop trying to act cool Naruto-baka," pinky scoffed, earning a sneer from Naruto in return.

"Why don't you stop acting like a real ninja and go find a dick to suck? It's all you'll ever be good at with that big mouth of yours… oh and didn't you lose your virginity three years ago to one of the teachers for a passing grade anyway?"

And with that, Naruto kicked the door closed in their face and went to get dressed, leaving Sakura pleading her case to Sasuke that she was still a virgin, thinking that he cared about that… or ever finding a girl to impregnate for that matter. All Sasuke was thinking about was a certain blond… father that just slammed the door in their face.

-X-

"You know, Naruto," Kakashi mused as he turned to the next page of his book while sitting on a tree branch, "You could be helping your team instead of playing,"

Naruto turned to look at the man from his seat on the ground then looked over to where Sakura and Sasuke were doing some work on a local farm, hauling heavy bags of cow manure by hand without a cart or anything, fixing a fence, painting said fence, planting potatoes, weeding the flower garden by the house, and lastly grooming a very wild horse. While it seemed like a lot the tasks were actually small things, the fence was actually small, not one of those large ones like what they had at a hot spring. It only needed to have a few of the precut slats replaced and even Baby Beel could've done that.

They had already finished with planting the potatoes, hauling shit, weeding the small garden, and grooming the horse, which had kicked Sasuke in the chest when he stupidly walked up to it from behind and pulled a clump of Sakura's hair out when she was brushing it. All they had to do now was repair and paint the fence.

"I am helping," Naruto mused while motioning to the clone hammering one of the boards into place, smirking at Sakura who glared at it while holding her swollen thumb after he smashed it while she'd been holding it in place for him.

Sasuke, who'd been holding the last few boards that were left, had pushed her aside and taken over with holding the piece of wood in place, muttering something about not doing things right. He hadn't seen Naruto deliberately miss the nail so he figured that Sakura hadn't been watching what she was doing, after all, Naruto was hammering a good foot away from where she'd been holding it.

"Besides, I couldn't help them myself even if I wanted to, Baby Beel's playing right here."

"Oh?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, it's more than fifty feet between me and them."

That made Kakashi sweat drop, he had only just been told about that little rule by the Hokage a few hours ago, about how if someone tried to take the blonde's son from him then the toddler turned into the cattle prod from hell, throwing lightning in all directions. The same for if he got too far away, only that the lightning would be deadly.

Neither he or the Hokage knew that it was a half lie told to them by the teen, but they believed it.

"Well there isn't any rule against using a shadow clone…" the man exclaimed while wondering if he'd be able to send one to team meetings, "So I guess I can't really say anything about it… what's he doing?"

Looking to the toddler, Naruto watched as Beel neared the end of his fight with a stuffed rabbit.

The rabbit, which had been stood up was just about to fall towards the baby but Beel leaned out of it's way, bringing his fist down on the back of the toy's head before turning and punching the air in triumph.

"Da-bu!"

Naruto chuckled and gave his son a cheer, "That's my boy!" he laughed before looking to Kakashi, "A perfect reenactment of my sparring match with the Uchiha back in the academy,"

Kakashi's sweat drop grew larger. 'Thank Kami this is the last mission for today,' he thought before wondering, 'Maybe I should just tell them to take a break for tomorrow… or maybe the next week?'

-X-

There wasn't many things that could bother Hilda, as a demon nurse maid she had helped raise the young Master when he was only a few day old and after that nothing else could hope to measure up. So as she watched this captivating, heart wrenching story about love, loss, betrayal, and heartbreak there wasn't many things that would make her stop watching aside from an angry Baby Beel or an annoying pest knocking at the door.

A sudden feeling made her tense and stand up, 'I need to find them!'

-X-

"Da-bu!" Baby Beel giggled excitedly as he sat on Naruto's shoulders, holding onto the teen's hair and kicking his feet, not bothered in the least by the teens wild movement.

"Having fun up there?" Naruto grunted out as thrashed around, fighting a large tiger that thought he and Beel would be a good meal, "I don't know why the hell I agreed to bring you here,"

After their mission, they went for a run though the trees before the boy noticed something and pestered the blond to take him in that direction. Like any human father with a Demon Lord son, Naruto did so and soon found himself hopping a fence into training ground 44, why it was fenced off he didn't know but Beel wanted to go in there so he went.

The Zebel Spell mark on his hand was glowing as he managed to throw the tiger away with strength he didn't know he had, but the teen didn't have a chance to ponder it as the tiger roared and attacked again.

"Back the fuck off you big pussy!" He roared back, throwing a right hook into the attacking tiger's face.

Beel all but squealed, enjoying the fight and seeing the tiger nearly rag doll away, bouncing across the forest floor and into a massive tree that littered the training ground.

Unknown to the blonde, Baby Beel's power was flowing through him and doing much more than making him stronger.

"Hahaha," he laughed deeply, "You like that Baby Beel?!"

"Interesting,"

The blond turned to the new voice and raised an eyebrow at the woman standing there, "Hilda, what are you doing out here? I thought you'd still be watching your soaps since it's that marathon thing."

Looking at her, Naruto noticed that she changed her hairstyle so that her bangs stayed out of her face, she also had a long ponytail instead of the braided bun. Her clothing was also different, showing more of her breast and stomach and dare he say, her chest looked larger.

The woman suddenly vanished and reappeared right in front of him, holding his cheek in one hand while bringing her lips to his ear, "Such a rude man. Please don't place me on par with that wench." she cooed, making his eyes widen as he realized that this wasn't Hilda.

The look-a-like placed a finger on his lips and smiled, "So you are Uzumaki Naruto-kun?" she continued while moving as if to kiss him, "I'm sorry… but would you please die?"

Eyes widening, Naruto hopped up and planted both feet into the woman's large chest, kicking her away just as she armed herself with… a broom? The woman landed on her feet, holding the broom threateningly as Naruto steadied himself, making sure that Beel was ok as he moved to the blonde's back.

"Who the fuck are you?" he demanded while readying himself for a fight.

But before anything else, a purple light slammed into the ground between them, kicking up clouds of dust that settled to reveal Hilda, crouched down with her sword drawn and glaring at the other woman.

The Hilda-look-alike coughed into her hand, the other still holding the broom, "How horrid… now I've gotten all dusty. Always with the unsexy entrances, huh Hilda?"

Hilda glared, still holding her sword in a tight grip, "Yolda, why are you here?"

Yolda raised an eyebrow, "What, you hadn't heard? Poor thing."

Naruto coughed a bit before looking at them both, "Whoa time the fuck out, what's going on here?"

"Naruto, take the Master and stand back. My sister is after me."

_To be continued…_

-X-

Review.

NEXT CHAPTER:

Beel's Gotta Brother!?

(And he's a crybaby?)


	7. Chapter 7: PT 1 & 2

Father and Son

Chapter 7 Pt: 1: Beel's Gotta Brother!

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

I think I got the crossover thing right. Hopefully it's working for me again now.

Anyway, sorry this is a shorter chapter.

-X-

"Sister!?" Naruto squawked while looking between the two, Hilda who was still in a battle stance while Yolda gave a small grin and started to let off a dark aura, holding her hands together by her chest as if preying.

Hilda quickly stood, her sword glinting in what little sunlight filtered through the canopy above them and leaving Naruto's question unanswered.

"Stop this at once!" Came yet another voice, making them turn to see a pair of different maids walk out from the tree line, both giving off the same dark purplish black auras.

The first was the one who called out to them, making the two demon maids stop before they even started fighting. She wore a similar fashion as the other demon maids, being a black lolita fashion dress and had long cerulean blue hair which she tied in a braid that reached past her waist with short bangs framing her face. She also wore glasses over her blue eyes and seemed to be cold and stoic as she held a thick purple book with gold bindings.

The next looked younger, wearing a shorter black lolita dress while her top was little more than a tube top that left the rest of her flesh bare. Her hair was red and shorter but had two long braids on each side of her head as she stood with her hips cocked to the side and her hands behind her head.

The blue haired demon continued, "Refrain from any personal actions, Yolda. I am aware of your history with Hildegarde, but now is not the time."

"But… Isabella," she huffed to the woman, making the other girl shake her head.

"Have some sense, Yolda!"

"Satura, you be quiet!"

Naruto watched, one eye twitching at him being ignored. But at the same time he'd learned that the blond was Yolda, Hilda's sister, the blue haired woman was called Isabella, obviously the leader of the three, and the youngest one, the red head was called Satura.

"Enough!" Came yet another voice, this time a younger boys, "The three of you, stand back!" This made them step aside just as a small pillar of what looked like purple-black fire erupted.

During this, Yolda looked over her shoulder at Hilda and glanced at her, "Well what are you standing for, Hilda? Get down on your knees,"

"Lord En, we have found him." Isabella droned as the pillar started to die down, "This is Beelze-sama,"

Satura looked at the man Beel was with and leaned forward, hands on her hips, "Man, the person he's contracted with looks weak!"

Naruto's eye twitched even harder as silhouette started to appear in the pillar of darkness, "Long time no see, little brother." said the male before he fully appeared, making Naruto tense, expecting some hulking demon.

"…"

Only, what stood there was not what he expected Baby Beel's big brother to be. There, standing about stomach high to one of the demon maids was a green eyed, green haired kid wearing a yellow vest with matching boots and black puffy pants that ballooned before being stuffed into the tops of his boots.

"Ok…" he started again while rubbing the bridge between his eyes, "I'll ask again. What… in… the fucking hell… is going on?"

"Silence human," En snapped at the older male, "I'm talking to my brother, not some lowly-"

At this point, the twitch in the teen's eye developed a twitch of it's own before he exploded, "That's it! I've fucking had it with all of you!"

Beel's brother, his maids, Hilda, and even Beel recoiled at the wave of crimson that engulfed him, Hilda was barely able to catch Beel as he jumped from Naruto's head and into her arms, frightened of the power at first before realizing that it was the power that drew him to the teen in the first place.

Naruto's hair, if it was possible, got wilder than before while his teeth turned into fangs. The scars on his cheeks darkened and got wilder as well as his eyes turned blood red and cat-like.

"If I don't get some mother fucking answers right this god-damn minute, I'm putting my foot up all of your asses!" he yelled while pointing to En, Isabella, and Satura before rounding on Yolda, "I'll stick that broom of yours so far down your throat that you'll shit bristles and splinters for the rest of your life," then he rounded on Hilda, "And I'll make your life a living hell when I cancel the soap opera channel."

Lastly his eyes landed on Baby Beel, "AND YOU… Well I wouldn't do anything to you, you're my little bundle of trouble but I love you none the less…" he smiled before turning and pointing to the others, "You four on the other hand better start explaining now!"

Hilda found her knees shaking, this was the power she had always felt lurking deep within the teen, the power that made the young Master chose him. This… dark… evil power, full of hate and wanting nothing more than to cause pain and suffering while destroying all it came into contact with. A power that, dare she say… made her insides quiver with lust.

Beel gazed at his human father with stars in his eyes, cementing his choice in the teen. If Naruto did want to try and pawn the toddler off to someone else, not that he did, he'd have better luck with turning the lava pits of hell to snow and ice.

Isabella, Satura, and Yolda felt as if they were facing the Great Demon Lord himself, while not as powerful the feeling of this power made them shudder, making them in vision their own violent, painful deaths. The malice in the aura itself was nothing they'd ever felt before, even when the Great Demon Lord himself was angry they'd never felt something like this.

This was the one that his little brother found? That was the thought running through a terrified En's mind. Such malice and hate scared him so much that he couldn't even find the tears to cry like he normally would. If his baby brother was contracted with that man… he'd soon be the weaker sibling, that is if he wasn't already.

Finding her voice, Isabella quickly informed the teen that the Great Demon Lord had sent Lord En, or as Naruto called him, 'The Boy', because Beelze was taking too long and hoped that the two brothers would work together in bringing humanity to an end.

A great heat started building up in the clearing, causing them all to turn to En, who had been so scared that he was starting to cry. Panicking, Isabella, Yolda, and Satura started trying to calm him down by offering him his favorite snacks and drinks that they some how summoned.

"Ah… Hilda… what's going on?" Naruto deadpanned, taking a step back from the sniffling furnace known as Baby Beel's brother.

"When Lord En cries, his power causes the area around him to burst into a great sea of fire," she explained, unmoved as she had already known about this little fact while mirroring him, stepping away from En with Beel still in her arms.

The idea of the forest and the village being reduced to a sea of ash made him grimace, surely there was something that could shut the boy the hell up and cool him down.

The three maids gave up on the snacks and started fanning him with small pink fluffy hand fans, dancing around him and fanning all the while. "Master, Yolda is going to fan while she dances!" the blond demon maid exclaimed quickly from behind the glowing boy, making Naruto cock his head to the side at the sight of her large bust moving from side to side.

Yolda then turned to Hilda as she danced around to the front of the boy, "Hilda, you help, too!"

The blue haired maid franticly waved the fans back and forth next to En and quickly called out, "Master, Isabella is not going to sing a song praising her Master!" hoping it would help.

During this whole ordeal, a sweat drop grew on the back of Naruto's head, increasing in size right up until Isabella started singing, badly I might add, and ending with how the boy was 'Far more important than a potato chip!'. By then his sweat drop started bubbling from the heat and evaporated into steam.

The heat around the boy grew more intense, actual flames engulfing him as he stood there. The grass below him drying out and charring from the heat as the clearing started to glow orange from the fire around Lord En.

"ENOUGH!"

Naruto's sudden roar made them all flinch, even the fire around En vanished in an instant as the boy went ramrod straight in fright. They all turned to the blond teen once again as he glared at them with his arms crossed, an unamused look on his face as his eyes once again became red and animalistic.

"I don't give a damn who you are, who your daddy is, or if you Baby Beel's brother, if you don't stop that mother fucking shit right the hell now I'll give you a fucking reason to cry!" he growled at the boy, making him shiver as he stalked over and towered over the shorter male, "Do you hear me, boy!"

"Y-yes, sir!" En all but squeaked to the 13 year old, shrinking under the crimson glare.

"Good," Naruto mused before grabbing En in a headlock, much to the boy's three maids displeasure, "Now, let's get something straight… this village is my territory, you got that?" he stopped, letting En nod in understanding, "Good, now that we understand each other let me make one more thing perfectly clear. Let's say you have another little episode like you did today and you damage the village…" Naruto's grip got a little tighter, "I will hunt you down, bend you over my knee and whoop your ass to the point where sitting in boiling lava feels like ice water… Got it?"

En nodded wildly, covering his rear with his hands before stumbling as the teen released his head.

"I'm glad you understand," Naruto said, turning and walking towards Hilda and Beel, "Enjoy your stay here in Konoha, and stay out of trouble."

Isabella and the other two quickly made their way back to En's side, ensuring that he was ok while Naruto took Beel and placed him on his head.

"I'm feeling hungry," he mused as if nothing happened, "How 'bout some ramen, eh, Baby Beel?"

"Da…"

-X-

Father and Son

Chapter 7 Pt: 2: Dear Great Demon Lord.

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

_Dear Great Demon Lord,_

_It has been more than a couple of months since I started living here in the Human world and I've grown accustomed to life here. Humans have based themselves in large communities known as villages with a military system in place to train soldiers for missions based on the level of difficulty or danger. The Master has chosen one of these soldiers… these, 'Ninja' as his guardian and has chosen well. Enclosed is a photo of the human chosen by the Master._

Hilda picked up the picture she'd taken without him knowing and looked at it, it was from when he was beating that dog boy black and blue for breaking the Master's rattle.

_As you can tell by the picture, he is an extremely violent person but cares for the Young Master as if he were his own flesh and blood. There is something about him as well, a deep, dark hidden evil that drew the Master to him. Just recently, I was able to witness this evil and you would be proud of your son's choice of human to say the least._

_The Human world is so much different from ours, humans have built places called, 'Supermarket's'. Focusing mainly on food, all manner of things are sold here._

_The Master has challenged quite a number of different foods from the Human world. But they proved to be quite tough._

Stopping she grimaced at the memory of serving crab, Naruto was napping on the couch so he never told her that you had to kill and cook the thing so before she knew it, Baby Beel was wrestling the thing and got pinched on the ear. Resulting in the obvious lighting storm.

_Humans are so voracious though, they eat everything, from plants to animals… almost as if they think that they are the top living creature to roam the earth. No being is more full of themselves as the humans._

_But that is the Human world, yes… But there are also good aspects. There is something called a Soap Opera that I've been enjoying lately. This week is a fateful match between a younger sister's former boyfriend and his older long-lost brother, taking place in the sumo ring… you could never have foreseen them locking arms in combat!_

_The Master also enjoys television. He especially enjoys the anime called 'Gohan-kun'._

"DA-BU!" Baby Beel squealed excitedly from beside her on the couch, making her stop writing as she looked over and smiled at him while Naruto laid on the floor below them taking a nap.

_In this country, it is said that 1 in 3 eats dinner while watching a new episode of 'Gohan-kun' each Sunday at 6:30._

As Gohan-kun defeated Count Poo, punching him off into the distance, Baby Beel excitedly hopped up and down on the couch before falling, landing head first into the sleeping blond teen's crotch below.

Naruto's eyes snapped open as he gave a quick, scream that faded into a hacking cough before Beel went off, electrocuting both him and Hilda.

Shaking off the electrocution, Hilda glanced at Naruto only to find him passed out while Baby Beel giggled on his stomach.

_The man that the Master chose as his parent, his name is Naruto Uzumaki…_

_Great Demon Lord, I think I will stay with this man for a while longer… I can see why the Master was attracted to this man._

-X-

"Royal straight flush!" called the Great Demon Lord, slapping a long line of game pieces down to show what he had.

From behind him, the old demon that had been reading the letter to him with a extremely tired look on his face sighed, "Great Demon Lord… I think you have the wrong game again…" he exclaimed with dark heavy bags under both eyes if anything, he looked the most human out of them all.

"Oh? That so?" The Demon Lord exclaimed sickly, a cloud over his head as it lulled from side to side. "My head… it feels so… huuuuge…" he'd been playing mahjong ever since he sent his son Beel into the Human world, nonstop. "Wait.. What were you saying right…"

The Demon Lord stopped, frozen for close to a minute before slamming his head into the table, game pieces flying everywhere as he fell asleep snoring loudly.

_To be continued…_

-X-

REVIEW!

So that I know that you're back to reading it after the wait.


	8. Chapter 8: In the Waves PT 1

Father and Son

Chapter 8: In the Waves PT 1

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

"We got a possible security breach" an ANBU yelled as the four entered the Mission office and within moments, twelve ANBU bum rushed the members of Team Seven, pushing Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi out of the way while dog piling Naruto and Beel. "We need to do a cavity search!" another called, already wearing a rubber glove as he appeared.

Two ANBU moved, revealing the boy's kicking feet and allowing the glove wearing ninja to approach and pull down the teens white shorts and underwear before going in with three fingers…

Looking out from around Kakashi, Naruto grimaced, "Ew… that looks painful."

Every head in the room snapped over to the blond before looking over to the pile of ANBU holding who they thought had been Naruto only to realize that the teen with three fingers up the bum was actually Sasuke Uchiha.

"Oh…" Exclaimed the ANBU penetrating the teen, "Whoops…"

One by one the ANBU team got off of the boy, revealing a twitching, blue in the face Uchiha with foam coming out of his mouth and a suspicious blush on his blue face.

"Sorry about that," the ANBU exclaimed, "Our bad!"

One by one the team called out "Our bad!" then vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving Sasuke bare and exposed on the floor of the Mission office with his team looking away… well the males were.

"This is a side of him I never wanted to see…" Kakashi muttered, raising his porn book up in front of his face to shield his eyes from the boy.

Naruto covered Beel's eyes and turned his head, "Anyone find it strange that he didn't scream?" he questioned with Beel nodding behind his hand and Sakura frozen in shock, not only was she able to see a side of the teen that even Sasuke wasn't able to naturally look at, but she witnessed him be violated… the horror.

Naruto knew that they had been trying to get revenge on him for that time when Beel electrocuted them, so that's why every time he entered the Hokage's office he was prepared to replace himself with the Uchiha. For the last few days he'd been ready for it and his paranoia just paid off!

"So…" Kakashi started, trying to ignore the still unmoving Sasuke, "About that next mission."

"Hmm…" Hiruzen thought, tapping his pipe with a finger, "Well we do have a few available, babysitting a councilors three year old, helping his wife with shopping, digging potatoes…"

"Daaaaaa…" droned Baby Beel, making the Hokage look up to Naruto's son who was now staring at him with narrowed eyes and pulsing red tick marks, a look that Naruto mirrored with ease.

"… But I'm pretty sure you're all ready for a low C-rank mission." he quickly added, making the others blink while Naruto and Beel returned to normal.

Iruka, who'd been helping with mission assignments spun around, "Hokage-sama, you must be joking! There not ready yet!"

The Chunin then launched into a long, practiced speech about the mission ranking system, how each request was carefully recorded, analyzed, then ranked A, B, C, or D depending on the skills needed then were given to the ninja possessing said skills and experience then remarked that upon completion of a mission, the village received a fee to support their work. How ninja were also ranked similar with the Hokage at the top, then Jounin, Chunin, and Genin at the bottom.

"… And since you are all untried Genin, just starting out of the academy, you are all given D-ranked missions and… hmm!?" Iruka stopped his lecture, noticing how no one was listening, Sasuke was out of commission for obvious reasons, Kakashi was reading his book, Sakura was staring into the abyss… yeah, Sasuke's… yeah… and Naruto was leaning against the mission desk talking to the Hokage.

"So old man remember that evil killer doll?" The teen mused while Beel sat on the desk.

The old man nodded, "Yes, the one you've been trying to tame and train, any luck?"

"Well we've came to an understanding." he muttered.

"Oh?"

FLASHBACK

"What did I say about biting your master!" Naruto growled, while crouched down in front of the door to it's temporary prison while it screamed soundlessly while being throw around and around. The thing beeped and he grinned darkly at it's pleading face.

"You wanna be good now? I've got plenty of change!" he chuckled before standing and putting a few more coins into the coin operated dryer at the Laundromat down the street from his apartment. "Well just a few more and your punishment will be over,"

FLASHBACK END

"You put it into a dryer?" the old man mused, chuckling lowly.

Naruto nodded, "Seven times actually, it took a while but the little bastard sure was soft."

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME YOU LITTLE BRAT!?" the chunin roared, making Naruto round on him.

"OI! WHO'RE YOU CALLING A BRAT!?"

"YOU!"

"ME!?"

"YEAH, YOU!"

"THAT'S IT, IT'S ON NOW!" he yelled, reaching into his pocket to retrieve a small scroll. He unsealed the contents and in a puff of smoke, the little assassin doll appeared and in a flash, sailed across the room and latched onto Iruka's head.

The memories sealed away from before came rushing back and before they knew it, Iruka was screaming like a prepubescent boy being chased by a nude Orochimaru as the doll gnarled on his head with it's plastic teeth. The Chunin ran around the room a few times, screaming for help before tripping on Sasuke and knocking himself out.

Silence.

"Summoning scroll, huh?" the old man remarked to the blond as the doll unlatched itself from the scarred chunin and saluted the blond.

"Kind of, it's more of a storage scroll actually, we came to an agreement,"

"That so?"

Naruto nodded sagely, "Obey or suffer… so… about that mission,"

-X-

"Land of Waves?" Hilda remarked as he returned home to prepare for the next day's mission.

Naruto nodded, "Gotta escort some old bastard and protect him while he builds a bridge or something, it'll take a while too."

The blond nodded slowly, "I see…"

Naruto, who was laying on the couch sat up and watched as she retreated into his… their bedroom, "What's up with her?" he wondered, looking over to Beel who was watching a rerun of Gohan-kun before shrugging.

Twenty minutes later, she returned with a large trunk that he didn't know she owned, holding it as if it were nothing, "Please seal this with your things,"

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Ok… why?"

"Because I'm going with you," she replied, setting the trunk down, causing the room to shake from the shock of something so heavy hitting the floor. "With you watching over the bridge builder, you will need someone to help care for the Master."

"Ah… ok."

He really didn't have a problem, in fact, she was probably more than capable of handling herself so it wasn't like she'd need to be protected from an attack by bandits.

Hilda nodded and watched as he sealed the trunk along with his own things, Baby Beel was only half of the reason she was going. In truth, she wanted to stay with him for more personal reasons. There was a chance that she'd be able to see more of his power, to feel that heat inducing aura, that terrifying power that just sent shivers through her core.

-X-

"Oi, Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed as they headed towards the village gate where Kakashi said he would meet them with the client, "Why you walking so funny?"

"Shut up." the teen growled back, causing the blond and Baby Beel to share a knowing, dark smirk.

"Yeah, shut up baka!" Sakura yelled.

Naruto looked at her from the corner of his eye, "Did you just say something? You're getting pretty brave considering that Kakashi isn't here."

"S-so."

"You know that there's a chance we'll be ambushed by bandits right?" he continued, "I hear that they like to take young girls like you and train them to do all sorts of humiliating things."

"…"

"You'll never see your mommy or daddy again and the only thing you'll have to look forward to each day is when they get tired for the day and leave you quivering, sore, and tired in a pile covered in their own fluids."

If she wasn't nervous then she sure was now, they weren't even out of the village yet and she was already looking around as if she'd be dragged off into a dark alleyway by bandits.

"Oh, you're all here!" Kakashi greeted them once they reached the front gate, his eyebrow raised at the sight of them, Sasuke was brooding and if he wasn't mistaken, blushing? Naruto and his son had this dark look of self satisfaction that made him take a step away. Sakura on the other hand was a quivering mess, eyes darting from side to side as if she was afraid that something would nab her and carry her away to never be seen again.

He shrugged. Oh well what could he do, it was expected for some people to be afraid to leave the safety of the village walls since that was all they knew.

Standing next to him was the client, Tazuna, a grey-haired, bespectacled man with a grey bushy beard and dark eyes. He wore a sleeveless shirt with long pants and a pair of sandals along with a pointed hat on his head.

"This is the team I hired?" the man remarked, "There just a bunch of snot nosed kids, ones a baby!"

"That's not nice," Naruto deadpanned before looking to Sakura, "We all know she's a whiny bitch but it's no reason to call her names."

Kakashi sighed, "Anyway, if we're all ready, lets get going." he spoke before turning to walk, only for Naruto to stop him.

"Actually we are missing one person.. Oh wait, here she is."

"Huh?"

Turning, Kakashi's one eye widened at the sight of the woman approaching, a look mirrored by Tazuna. She was an attractive young blond with the front of her hair covering one side of her face while the back was tied in a bun with a small braided ponytail near the bottom. She wore a black gothic lolita maids dress with frills and white quillings and has a white frilly choker around her neck with a thin black silk bow tied to keep it in place.

"Took you long enough," Naruto mused as Hilda neared them, holding her pink umbrella over her head to shade herself from the sun.

"I had something to take care of before we departed," she said impassively, "It took longer than expected."

Seeing that his student knew this smoking hot blonde bombshell, Kakashi nudged him, "Naruto-kun, care to introduce us!"

"Huh… oh right, you haven't met her yet," he exclaimed, "Hilda, this is Kakashi. Kakashi, this is Hilda… my wife."

The Jounin froze, his world losing color and shattering like glass. Naruto's wife?! He heard the news before but Kami never did he expect this! She was gorgeous! Not to mention if she dressed like then imagine what she was willing to do in bed with that lucky bastard. Not to mention the new stories he'd be reading once Lord Jiraiya hears of this!

All of this proved to be too much at once for the Jounin and he passed out, his mask shining dully from the blood spewing from his nose.

"Yep…" Naruto mused, "We lost him…"

Tazuna, who's nose was stuffed with tissue looked to the blond, "So what now?"

Naruto shrugged, "I guess we wait for him to wake up…" he mused before producing a large stick and poking the Jounin.

-X-

Not too long after passing out, Kakashi awoke and they were on their way, though he did complain about his eye and face hurting, not knowing that Naruto spent a good half hour poking him with that stick. The trip was almost quite to say the least, both Kakashi and Hilda were reading their own books while Sasuke and Sakura did whatever, Tazuna was drinking a bottle of sake he brought with him and Naruto was carrying Baby Beel on his head, who sang a silly little song to pass the time.

Sasuke finally snapped, "Damn it dope!" he growled, storming up to the blond, "Will you make that brat shut the hell up!"

Sasuke never saw Naruto's fist until it was too late, the blond never even looking as he slugged the Uchiha hard enough to end him across the road and shoulders deep into a tree.

"Baby Beel," Naruto mused cheerfully, "Feel free to continue."

"Da-Bu!"

Kakashi sighed again, grabbing Sasuke and pulling him from the tree before dragging him along.

Unseen from a puddle they passed, the demon brothers looked at each other and nodded, "Fuck that!"

If a Genin was strong enough to do that then they weren't gonna risk it without help.

-X-

When they finally reached the coast, they had to wait until early morning for the boat that would carry them across to arrive… or they would've. Deciding not to wait, Hilda summoned Akubaba and flew them not only across the water but all the way to Tazuna's home. Of course they had been shocked at the sight of the large bird but nothing that they couldn't explain by saying that it was a summon.

-X-

"Where the hell are they!?" Zabuza muttered as he and Haku waited at the ambush area.

"Maybe we should go on back to the hideout," Haku suggested only to for Zabuza to shake his head.

"No, if we leave then they'll probably come through and we'll miss the chance to ambush them."

Haku sweat dropped, "But we've been here for three days."

"To be a ninja, you must have patience, remember that Haku,"

"Yeah…" she deadpanned, "I'll remember that,"

-X-

(Everything is basically the same as the original show except that since Naruto already knows tree walking he goes off to train on his own with Baby Beel.)

Returning to Tazuna's home, Naruto and Beel walked into the living room to find Hilda sitting on the couch surrounded by a dark aura. Movement from the doorway into the kitchen caught his eye and he saw Tsunami, Tazuna's attractive young daughter grimace at the other woman before going back around the corner.

"Ok…" he muttered before walking over to the demon maid, "What's wrong?"

Her head slowly turned, her eyes shadowed by her hair, "Naruto… what time is it?" she questioned him darkly, making him raise an eyebrow and glance to the wall clock the family had in the room.

"About 1:30, why…" then it hit him, "Oh…"

"I asked that Tsunami woman why they didn't have cable like we do." she explained in a clam yet still very dark tone only for Naruto to cut in.

"Actually we don't have cable, we're splicing into the-" he started until she fixed him with a glare, "Sorry… I'll stop talking."

"As I was saying, I asked her why she didn't have it even though they have the equipment, it seems that this Gato person has forced the people here to pay ten times as much for service." Hilda continued, gaining a manic look in her eyes as she pulled her umbrella out of thin air and pulled the hidden sword out, "THAT FOUL LITTLE HUMAN MUST DIE!"

By then, Naruto and Beel were hiding behind the door to the kitchen like Tsunami did, afraid of what she would do with that sword in her rage as the dark, demonic aura around her moved like fire.

In a flash, she was standing in front of him and grabbed him by the collar of his orange and black jacket, "WHERE IS HE? TELL ME WHERE THAT INSECT IS SO THAT I CAN KILL HIM FOR THIS! NO ONE STOPS ME FROM WATCHING MY SOAPS!" the woman roared while shaking him around to the point were Beel was holding on to Naruto's hair for dear life.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Naruto cried out, not many things scared him but by Kami this would now be on the list.

Dropping the teen, ignoring the frightened looking ninjas and family sitting at the table a few yards away. Hilda, with sword in hand, stormed out of the house to hunt down a midget.

"Inari my boy," Tazuna told his grandson sitting next to him, who was looking at the twitching blond teen in the doorway, "That is why you should always be good to girls,"

-X-

Later that night, Hilda returned, unhappy at not finding Gato but proudly stating that she killed two ninja, then showed the proof by presenting their heads like it said in one of Naruto's books that she read one day when he was out training.

Kakashi stated that they were the Demon Brothers of the Hidden Mist village, known accomplices of the 'Demon of the Bloody Mist' Zabuza. Knowing this, it was safe for them to assume that Gato hired Zabuza to kill Tazuna, making this mission more dangerous than C and up to an A ranked mission.

Long story short, Tazuna explains with a sob story and they stay to complete the mission.

-X-

"Ah Zabuza-sama?" Haku called as she approached her master, "The Demon Brothers were killed back in wave."

The man, who had been crouched on that limb in the tree for days, turned, "Damn those ninja, they must've known that I'd ambush them and went around the long way. The Demon Brothers said that they saw Sharingan Kakashi leading the team, no doubt he saw something with that damn eye of his."

"…Right…" Haku deadpanned, "So do we head on back to base?"

"Of course!" Zabuza stated before standing, but having crouched on that limb for so long, he cramped up and fell off the branch with a scream.

_To be continued…_

-X-

REVIEW!


	9. Chapter 9: In the Waves PT 2

Father and Son

Chapter 9: In the Waves PT 2

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

Warning: This story is getting darker.

Not much humor in this one.

-X-

"Please Kami!"

Hilda glared at the man as she held him up by the neck, lighting pressing the tip of her thin sword to the point between his ribs and torso as she demanded to know the location of Gato.

"Tell me now you lowly worm!" she demanded, pressing the blade through the skin slowly as he started to struggle, his feet kicking feebly in the air.

"Please! He'll kill me if I tell you!"

The blonde's eyes narrowed, "By the time I'm through, you'll prey for death…"

"AH NO!" he cried, making her stop pushing on the blade, "He-he's at the bridge, Gato told us to come here and kidnap the bridge builder's daughter!"

Hilda raised an eyebrow at the man, glancing over to the headless body of the other thug that broke into the home just a little while earlier. They had been weak, pathetically so in fact. When she heard them saw that Gato needed the woman, she intervened and demanded to know the fool's location.

It goes without saying, the first thug, a shirtless man with an eye patch, tried to slash at her only to find himself on the floor, his head sailing through the air and rolling further into the room.

Then, a wave of power hit her, coursing through her and effecting her in ways that only one aura could. Naruto was using his power, filling the air with his aura.

"P-Please, will you just let me go?" begged the surviving thug, only for her to glare at him from the corner of her eye.

"Silence peon,"

With a single swipe, she sliced though his neck, killing him before turning to head towards the bridge, where Naruto's power seemed to be coming from.

"W-Wait!"

She stopped, glancing back to where Tsunami and Inari, her son, were huddled in a corner, both having witnessed the whole thing.

"What?"

"W-What do we do if someone else comes?"

Hilda turned away, "Not my problem."

-X-

(A minute earlier)

"You only have yourself to blame," Haku remarked coldly as she looked at the three trapped in her Ice Mirror jutsu, "Your friend is dead, you're on your last legs, and if something happens to you son, then it's your fault for bringing him here."

Naruto breathed heavily, his body littered with senbon needles. Near his feet, Sasuke laid on the stone unmoving, his body also covered in needles. Upon arrival today at the bridge, they found the few remaining workers laying on the ground and were ambushed by Zabuza and a masked teen that Zabuza called Haku. After a pissing contest between Sasuke and Haku, which the Uchiha lost to and ended up walking into a trap, Kakashi and Zabuza started to fight each other while he'd been told to help Sasuke.

Haku's trap was a jutsu that could only be used by those with her bloodline, creating seemingly unbreakable mirrors in which she melded with and seemed to be able to attack from at any time.

"I suggest that you give up," Haku continued to say, "It would be horrible if something were to happen to that child."

"…Did… you… just…" Naruto started, his voice colder than the mirrors around him, "threaten… my son?" he looked up, glaring at the ice mirror directly in front of him with his eyes red and catlike.

Holding onto Naruto's shoulder, Baby Beel, unscathed through this whole ordeal, quickly turned to look at Naruto, his eyes wide. This wasn't his power coursing through the teen, this was the power he felt before.

The toddler hopped off of Naruto and moved over to the side where Sasuke was laid out at, wanting to see what would happen.

"Nobody…" the blonde continued, his hair getting wilder, teeth sharpening, and the marks on his cheeks darkening, "…threatens my child."

Haku recoiled when the feeling of pure hate washed over her, this teen… he wasn't human, he couldn't be! She'd felt ninjas in the past use Killing Intent but this feeling far surpassed anything she could've dreamed of. This was inhuman… this was pure evil… this was terrifying!

Naruto vanished, his body a blur of speed, he went for the closest mirror and swung with all he had, his fist breaking through the center of what was thought to be unbreakable. The entire thing cracked then shattered causing the mirror to explode into a shower of ice shards before he turned, launching himself at another.

This caused the girl to panic, as Naruto aimed at the one she was in. She had to switch into another before she was hit.

"Gotcha!" He exclaimed, catching Haku by the ankle before pulling her back.

The masked ninja hit the ground with a thump before the blond hopped onto her back and grabbed a fist full of hair, pulling her back with one hand and punching her in the side of the head with the other.

When she hit the ground, all the air in her lungs escaped in one wheeze. All thoughts of escaping blurred for a moment as she instinctively tried to refill her lungs but when he pulled her head back by her hair, the world became a jumbled mess as his other fist crashed against her skull.

"DIE!" he growled, beating her in the head with all he had, stopping every now and then to slam her masked face into the stone below them, "Just fucking die!"

The mask shattered after the second time he smashed her face into the ground and after that the shards ripped into her face with each hit.

After a minute of this brutal beating, Naruto rolled her over onto her back and began beating the ninja again, laughing insanely as he alternated between his left and right fist, punching her repeatedly to the point where his fists were splattered with blood and all her head did was limply lull side to side with each brutal blow. (Think Bryan Furry's evil laugh)

"Bitch!" He growled out again, raising her head up and slamming it back down before taking a hold of her neck with both hands. This seemed to wake her up, if only slightly as she tried to push and pull against him only to fail as her body quickly started to give out.

'Zabuza-sama…' the girl cried in her mind, the painful grip around her throat proving to be too strong for her, 'I'm sorry… please… forgive…'

Naruto watched with a vicious grin as her eyes started to roll back into her head, her lips turning colors other than red as she managed one last cough that sent blood splattering onto his face. But he never let up, the teen kept squeezing until something gave and the girl's body jerked one final time, her neck snapping under his strength.

But now, with the target of his anger dead, Naruto came down from his demon fueled blood rage, "What the… fuck?" he muttered as he stood up, looking at his blood covered hands and felt the warm liquid drip down his face. As the memories of his actions played through his mind all he could think to himself was wonder what the fuck just happened to him. He'd been violent as hell before but never like this.

"I see your feeling well,"

Hearing the voice, Naruto turned to find Hilda standing just a few feet away holding the young Demon Lord in her arms while the toddler gazed at the teen with excited, star filled eyes.

"The Zebel Spell is also progressing." she remarked, feeling it strengthen.

He looked at the mark on his hand and saw is pulsing, he even looked down his shirt and saw that he now had the red markings starting to branch off his arm and onto his chest. But this served to only distract him for a minute before a sickening feeling hit him, he killed that girl.

Hilda, while very impressed with his brutality, couldn't help but sigh and shake her had as the teen bent over the guard rail of the bridge and threw up, the young masters power would slowly change him into one of them given enough time but the fact of the matter was that as of now, he was still human and hadn't killed before. Sure he didn't react like the others had when she presented the heads to the so-called 'Demon Brothers' but it was different when you killed someone yourself, especially when you watched the life leave their eyes.

There was also one other feeling that she couldn't help but notice, it seemed that Naruto wasn't using his full power… in fact, it was like he didn't know when he was using it.

-X-

(Minutes earlier)

As Kakashi and Zabuza fought each other in the dense mist surrounding the bridge, the Jounin of the Leaf Village was certain of one thing, he needed to hurry up and end this. But Zabuza had an edge, not only was he in his own element, hidden in the mist, if he took his eyes off the man or tried to help his other two genin, the swordsmen would have more than enough of a chance to kill Tazuna and Sakura.

Then it hit them, both Kakashi and Zabuza's heads shot up and looked towards the end of the bridge where the two genin were fighting Zabuza's partner.

'What the?' Zabuza thought to himself while looking over his shoulder before looking back to his enemy, 'What is this energy, something foul… is it Kakashi? No, this is too powerful, even for him… is it one of Kakashi's brats?'

'This feeling, is Zabuza causing it… no, I know this chakra.' he thought with his heart dropping, 'There's no way… Naruto… this puts everyone in danger, why now of all times? Has the seal broken?' Feeling the chakra again he calmed down a bit, 'No, the seal isn't broken, it's loosened.'

Then they heard it, dark laughter full of cruelty off in the distance.

'I need to finish this!' Kakashi thought, pulling out a scroll from his jacket.

-X-

Spitting the taste of vomit out of his mouth, Naruto turned around to where Hilda was waiting, "So, what are you here for?"

"Two lowly insects working for that scum Gato came to the house, they… assured me that the scum would be here." she mused.

He nodded, "I see. Well he's not, the only ones here were us and them." he told her while nodding at Haku's broken body and towards where Kakashi was fighting Zabuza.

Suddenly, their was a noise that sounded like thousands of chirping birds and before they knew it, the mist around them started to fade, revealing the outcomes of both battles. There stood Kakashi, his hand covered in lightning and stuck through the swordsmen's chest, a killing blow.

-Clap-

-Clap-

-Clap-

Turning to the noise, they found a short man wearing a suit standing just outside of the disappearing mist, which continued vanishing to reveal a small army of thugs all armed with various weapons.

"So Zabuza couldn't even handle one simple thing," he sneered while holding a small cane in one hand, "Pathetic, well at least I don't have to pay him now. But he did do a good job of warring you all down, it'll be child's play to kill you now."

Hilda's eyes narrowed on the little man, "So you must be Gato…" she spoke, her voice like a razor as she held Baby Beel.

Gato looked at her and smirked, "So you've heard of me, you wanna lose the brat and come work for me?" he asked while looking her up and down, "I'm sure I could find a position under me that you'd enjoy."

That made the thugs behind him laugh lecherously but she was not impressed in the least.

Walking up next to her, Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Do you want 'em or should I?"

She handed the infant demon lord to him and got her umbrella, "I'll handle this,"

That made him smirk as he took Baby Beel and set him on top of his head, "Have fun dear,"

"I plan to," she smirked, drawing her blade as her body started glowing with her dark aura.

-X-

That night was filled with excitement, Gato and his monopoly over the shipping lanes were finished, the few surviving thugs under his employment quickly escaped for fear of their life when news that everyone of the thugs that sided with Gato at the bridge had been killed.

With their tormentor dead at the hands of Hilda, the people of Wave rejoiced and began celebrating, starting a mass, village wide party of sorts. All over the town, people came out of their homes, feeling free for the first time in years knowing that things were going to get much better now.

But there was something missing.

"Hey?" Tazuna drunkenly slurred as he looked around, "Where's dem two blonde's go?"

Kakashi looked around along with a few others in the streets celebrating, as did Sakura and Sasuke who sadly didn't die from Haku's attack. But try as they might, they couldn't find the lady of the hour nor her husband Naruto and son Beel.

Checking the time, Tsunami figured that the two left to put their son to bed, as it was getting late. They accepted this and the celebrations continued.

-X-

"Finally," Naruto muttered once Beel was sleeping soundly on the futon next to his. With all the excitement, Baby Beel had been pumped up all day and had finally wore himself out.

"The Master had a exciting day," Hilda exclaimed as she tucked the child in and stood up, "We all did."

He shrugged, "Yeah I guess so-" the teen started only to be cut off as Hilda grabbed his cheeks with her hands and slammed her lips to his. Shocked, he staggered back and pulled her with him, her weight causing him to fall against the bedroom wall that stopped him from hitting the floor.

He slid to the floor, still stunned as she straddled him and slid her tongue into his mouth before pulling away for air.

"… Hilda…" he started dumbly, "What…"

She smirked at him and leaned back, "What you did today," she started with a husky voice while moving her hand up to her shoulder and pulling the cloth down, "It got me so hot,"

When she did the same with the other side and slipped her arms out of the holes, she looked at him with a light blush while holding the front of her dress up with one hand.

Then, all at once, she pulled the front of her dress down, letting it hang off her waist while Naruto's eyes widened at the sight of her bare chest.

"Naruto-kun," Hilda continued, "Please… oh!"

He took her breasts in each hand and started groping them, leaning up to lick each nipple before planting his lips around one, causing her to moan and grab onto his head, breathing heavily into his hair. But after a minute, he pulled back.

"Come on, lets go to another room," he said while motioning to the sleeping baby before picking her up, making her cheeks darken when he squeezed her rear.

Wrapping her legs around his waist, she nodded and Naruto carried her out of the room and into the room down the hall where he all but kicked it down and dropped to his knees on the futon, laying her down before sitting back up to remove his jacket and shirt.

He tossed them aside and got to work on her, quickly unlacing her boots and throwing them to the side before grabbing the waistband of her dress and pulling it down, leaving the demon maid in a pair of frilly black panties.

"Come here," she demanded, leaning up and grabbing him by the back of the head, kissing his again before rolling him over and switching positions. She then did the same to him and unbuttoned his pants, removing them and revealing his tented boxers before lowering them and taking a hold of his member, making him take a breath. "I think it's time to consummate our marriage."

-X-

By the time everything started to wind down, the sun was starting to rise and many people were either headed home or already there. Kakashi shook his head as he carried Sakura over his shoulder, sometime during the night she got a bottle of sake and he had been forced to watch her so that she didn't do anything stupid. Walking next to him were Tsunami and Inari, both holding one of Tazuna's ankles as they pulled him along, the man mumbling drunken slurs as he walked the line between consciousness and sleep. Sasuke had left earlier, saying that he was going back to the house.

But upon reaching the large house in which Tazuna and his family lived in, they were shocked to find Sasuke laying on the ground outside with a trail of blood leading from the door all the way to his nose.

Setting the girl down, he shook the Uchiha awake and asked him what was wrong and what happened.

"I'm… I'm not sure, I remember walking in… I heard a scream then…" Sasuke trailed off, his nose dripping blood as he fainted again.

"Sasuke?" the sensei called again, shaking the boy by the shoulder, only to get a incoherent mumble.

"What'd he say?" Tsunami questioned.

Kakashi looked at her, "I'm not sure… but I think he said something about seven inches."

_To be continued…_

-X-


	10. Chapter 10: Prelude to the Chunin Exam

Father and Son

Chapter 10: Prelude to the Chunin Exam

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X-

"Hey Naruto, it's time to wake up," Kakashi called as he knocked on the door to the room Naruto shared with his wife and son. Tazuna's house use to be an old fishermen's lodge, where fishermen could stay overnight to rest before heading back out. As such, the house was made with enough bedrooms for everyone, some were smaller but Tazuna had expanded a few rooms in the past to give his family more space for their bedrooms.

Not getting a response, he knocked again, figuring that the teen was deep asleep and called a little louder.

Nothing.

The one eyed Jounin reached for the handle to poke his head in but stopped just before touching the cool metal, Naruto was sleeping in there with his wife and son… his hot… deadly wife. What if he stuck his head in and found out that she slept in the nude!

That made him suppress a giggle before remembering her umbrella. She was also a vicious woman and was probably a light sleeper, she'd probably kill him if she awoke to find him staring at her from the door. Naruto also seemed to be the protective type if how he reacted to threats against his son's life meant anything. Was the chance of facing the vengeful wrath of his student and said student's wife worth seeing those tantalizing melons?

"Good morning, Kakashi-san." Tsunami greeted as she neared him with a arm full of freshly washed towels, "Excuse me but I need to put these in the bathroom."

Nodding back to her, he moved and turned to the door, contemplating on his choice.

The door clicked softly as he slowly twisted the handle. Thank Kami that the house had been taken care of and that the hinges didn't squeak.

'Come on titty! Come on titty!" he chanted mentally as he slowly stuck his head in just enough for his uncovered eye to peek in. Only… the room had a distinct lack of anyone with blonde hair, the only one there was the snoring, green haired toddler who seemed to be wearing ear muffs.

Opening the door wider, he stood there in the doorway and scratched his head.

"EEP! I'M SORRY, I'M SO-SO SORRY!" he heard Tsunami yelp from down the hall as she came flying back out of the bathroom, "I-I-I didn't know… I-I mean-"

-X-

(With Tsunami a minute earlier)

Humming a little tune, Tsunami pulled the towels out of the dryer and folded them up, basking in the feeling of peace she got knowing that Gato was dead. Before that bastard took over, Wave had a prosperous shipping and fishing business that kept them going. But when he came, everything went to hell.

But all that was over now and with the people free to go back to their jobs and not have to pay outrageous taxes, they'd be back to normal soon. In fact, with the bridge connecting them to the mainland, they should be able to get more commerce with merchants traveling by land.

With it being so early, she wanted to go on and get some clean towels in the bathroom upstairs just incase one of the ninjas wanted to take a shower. So she picked up the stack of towels and headed upstairs to the guest bathroom, passing Kakashi on the way and giving him a little greeting.

Opening the door, she idly noticed steam on the mirror and frowned, did one of them already take a shower or bath? There wasn't any water on the floor and…

"Ahhh…"

Hearing a soft moan, her head spun around to the stand in shower, the special glass made to distort the person inside for their privacy covered in a heavy layer of steam. Just then, a shapely rear was pressed against the glass followed by a woman's back and a head of long blond hair.

She could hear them making out, the woman that could only be Hilda moaning into the kiss while the male she knew was Naruto hummed, his hands appearing to cup her rear, earning another moan.

"Damn…" Came a gasping chuckle from Naruto, "Hey Hilda-chan, it's still early, wanna go again?"

She hummed, "Of course…"

Tsunami could only stand there and gape as the blurred figure of Hilda moved and turned around, her hands appearing on the top of the door to the shower as she bent over.

"Come on, Lover, take me from-" Hilda stopped mid sentence, "Wait, someone's… Tsunami-san, what is the meaning of this!?" she demanded, finally sensing and then recognizing the person in the room.

"EEP! I'M SORRY, I'M SO-SO SORRY!" She yelped, jumping out of the room as if she'd seen a snake and embarrassed at being caught watching them, "I-I-I didn't know… I-I mean-"

"Tsunami…" Came Naruto's calm voice, "Please shut the door, we have something to take care of. We'll be out in… oh… let's just say an hour."

"Y-yes, ok, Naruto-san."

And with that she reached in and shut the door.

-X-

With everything settled down, progress on the bridge increased ten fold. With the threat of Gato looming over them, only a handful of workers were willing to risk helping and a lot of times that left some of them doing a job that they weren't trained for, like a carpenter doing work with stone to help get the bridge caught up. But now, they had carpenters, metal workers, stone masons, and various other workers in spades. Fishermen with large boats offered their services in carrying large loads of raw material to the end of the bridge where a small crane would lift it up and even the house wives would cook and bring the workers food for lunch and dinner.

But even with Gato dead and the threat of an attack extremely low, they still had to guard Tazuna as the mission was to guard him until the bridge was complete.

They would usually rotate guard duty between two of them one day then the other two the next. As it was, Kakashi would watch in the morning with Sakura taking the afternoon while Naruto and Sasuke had the day to themselves. Then the next day, Sasuke had the morning shift and Naruto took the afternoon.

"It's intriguing to see what humans are capable of building," Hilda stated as she sat next to Naruto on a pallet of concrete bags covered in shrink wrap each bag weighting 80 pounds.

A few yards away, a small team of men were steadily mixing bag after bag, handling the bags as if they were nothing.

Naruto shrugged, watching the mixers while he held Beel in one arm and the end of his bottle with the other while the child drank, "They're good but look at them, if they could toss those heavy bags back and forth like that then don't you think that they could've handled their Midget problem on their own?"

Hilda looked at the worker picking up two bags at once, one in each hand and not looking strained in the least, "You have a point."

"Excuse me, Ninja-san?"

Turning his head, Naruto found one of the townswomen holding a basket and raised an eyebrow at her, "Huh?"

"Thank you, thank you so much for helping us," She exclaimed while giving him a small bow before standing with a large smile, "My husband has been working on this bridge since the start and I feared for him every day. We scraped together every yen we had for your mission and Tazuna told us about how you all found out about the lie he had to tell and decided to come anyway."

She raised the basket and moved the cloth covering the top, "I know it's not much but I'd like for you to have these as thanks."

Inside was a small stack of sweet buns, all lightly browned and straight from the oven.

Not used to acts of kindness from strangers, he sat there for a second, stumped. If this were Konoha, he'd be slowly reaching for a weapon and waiting for the surprise attack that the woman was being a distraction for. And should there be no attack, there would be a strong possibility of 'em being poisoned.

"Thank you," Hilda exclaimed, "I'll hold on to them."

The woman nodded, "Of course, he does look a little busy after all." taking the cloth, she placed the buns in the center and tied each corner together to make a small bundle, since they were small there wasn't any worry about them being flattened together.

Giving them another small, thankful bow, the woman thanked them again and left.

With that, Naruto fell silent. Hilda noticed this but didn't say anything as he seemed to go on auto pilot, his body doing the right things while feeding Beel while his mind was on something else entirely. She knew that people didn't really like her lover and by extension, her. But his reputation for beating anyone that attacked him black, blue, and beyond kept them from trying anything… at least it did now.

At first, when word of her being Naruto's wife and the mother of his child got out, a few villagers called her a whore and even threw a small rock at her, but when she cut the rock in half with her sword faster than they could even see, they made damn sure not to try again.

-X-

From a distance, Kakashi saw the exchange and sighed. He had been a guard assigned to protect Naruto in the past and knew about the problems he faced… and he was ashamed to admit that he had allowed the villagers to hurt the boy once before. Not intentionally, but the incident made it so that he could no longer show up late to a mission again.

"It's a shame that you get more respect from another village, Naruto." he muttered to himself before going back to reading his book.

-X-

It took time but before they knew it, they were celebrating once again by placing the final stone at the end of the bridge connecting Wave to the mainland. Of course, there was still a lot of finish work to be done but the bridge was technically finished and the team were to head on home.

The entire town came out to say goodbye, meeting them at the bridge just before they crossed.

"So what do you think we should name it?" asked one of the builders as they watched the ninja's leave.

"The Great Uzumaki Bridge," Inari started before anyone else could make a suggestion, "For the woman that helped free us… seeing as we didn't get her name."

That caused a massive sweat drop.

-X-

Half way across the bridge, Naruto glanced over to Sasuke who seemed distracted by something and smirked, "So Sasuke, what do you think about the bridge."

"It's long and hard…" he muttered before realizing what he said and turning to glare, only to find that the whole group was staring at him.

Kakashi's eyebrow was raised as he peered at his student over his book and muttered, "I suspected," before giving the Uchiha an eye smile, "It's ok Sasuke-kun, I don't judge."

Sakura looked crestfallen and stared helplessly at the ground.

Hilda and Beel gave him a flat look, "I've suspected as much,"

Naruto nodded with her statement, "Good for you, I know you'll meet a nice older man that you'll make very happy."

"I don't like older men! I like men my own age!" he roared before slapping a hand over his mouth, his eyes wide and unbelieving that he just said that. "Wait I didn't mean-"

"It's ok," Kakashi assured the boy, "The village won't judge you for you sexual preference, in fact, I know someone that you can talk to about all of this. Our opinion of you won't change at all."

"He's right," the blond ninja mused, "after-all, my opinion of you can't get any lower!"

-X-

A few days later, Team Seven made it back to the village with Sasuke bringing up the rear adamantly trying to assure them and himself of his straightness while the others ignored him. The only one that did seem to believe him was Sakura and that was due to her sick obsession with the Uchiha and wanting desperately to be his wife.

"KAMI DAMN IT!" Naruto finally yelled as they passed the village gates, "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY, WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN! DO YOU HEAR ME UCHIHA? WE DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE MEN! IF YOU LIKE TO RELAX AFTER A MISSION BY SUCKING A DICK I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"

Naturally, all activity in the area halted and Sasuke found himself subject to being stared at by every person around while Sakura broke down, sobbing 'It's not true,' over and over again.

Naruto on the other hand, just kept walking as if nothing happened, heading to the Hokage's tower for the usual after mission report.

-X-

"Hey Hilda!" Naruto called in a excited tone as he entered the apartment, only to be hit with a pillow.

Said demon glared at him from the couch, "I just went all that time without my soaps… don't you dare interrupt."

He nodded and let Beel down off of his back, as the boy wanted to go play with his toys. He didn't have anything important to tell her other than the fact that aside from the mission pay, he had been given the bounty for the demon brothers as well seeing as he kept the heads.

Oh well, he'd tell her later. First off he needed to go on and unpack.

-X-

(Here I was going to write that part where the Jounin nominate their teams for the Chunin exam, you know where everyone is shocked that the 'rookie 9' were nominated and Iruka tries to stop it before being given permission to test them to see if their ready but most of you probably already know it and if not I just basically gave you a rundown. Everything is pretty much the same.)

Sneaking in through Naruto's window, which was in the kitchen section of his apartment, the masked Iruka dressed all in black like a stereotypical ninja froze. It was in the dead of night and he didn't expect the teen to be awake, meaning that he wasn't aware of his surroundings, but it seemed that Naruto had a guard because standing a few feet away and looking at him was the little blue skinned doll with red hair.

He blinked.

It blinked.

He twitched.

It grinned.

He paled.

It pulled out one of those white plastic knives and a matching fork.

He took a step back towards the window and prepared to run.

It gave a mute battle cry and launched itself at the intruder.

Before he even had a chance to run, Iruka was knocked back as the doll wrapped it's legs around his neck and started stabbing and poking at his head. Due to his position in front of the window, he fell out and hit the ground, knocking himself out.

-X-

-KNOCK-

-KNOCK-

-KNOCK-

Naruto awoke and rubbed his eyes, "Who the fuck is knocking at…" he stopped and looked at the clock, "Three in the morning?"

Untangling himself from Hilda, who was now sleeping in the same futon with him, he went into the living room and opened the front door.

"What the fuck-" he started, scratching his ass before stopping and looking down to find his loyal minion waving, "The hell are you doing outside? Get your ass back in here, don't you know what fucking time it is?"

It all but skipped in, proud of his accomplishment and taking his masters anger in stride.

-X-

"So that Jounin entered your team into this… 'Chunin exam'." Hilda repeated after Naruto returned home from a 'team meeting'.

Naruto nodded and removed his shoes, "Yeah, though he could've just stopped by and told us, we were waiting at the damn bridge for two hours. I got the paper he gave us in my pocket, it has a little information on it." He mused before digging through his pockets and handing her the sheet.

She took it and started reading as he and Beel sat down on the couch to watch 'Gohan-kun'. The exams were a dangerous test of a ninja's skills, knowledge, and guts. People died during them and by signing the form to enter, you were acknowledging the fact that anything could happen to you and agreed that if you were to die, it couldn't be blamed on the village hosting the exam.

"This sounds like a splendid opportunity to further your bond with the Master," she told him while handing the paper back and sitting next to him on the couch, "I've also been thinking, it's about time that you and I found the Master some worthy retainers, servants to fight in his name and to do his bidding."

Naruto looked thoughtful, "Hmm… you mean like how the old man's grandson and his two friends are to me?"

Hilda blinked, "Explain."

"Well a few months before you and Beel came here, I met this little brat when the Hokage called me to his office. He tripped and blamed me for it then I punched him over the head when he thought that I would kiss his ass like others did just because he's the Hokage's grandson." He explained while kicking his feet up on the coffee table, "Anyway, the brat's 'teacher' badmouthed me and when he saw me knock his teacher's head through a wall he started pestering me for training."

"I showed him a few things and next thing I knew, him and two of his little friends were following me around and calling me 'boss', doing whatever I said to." He chuckled before humming, "Now that I think about it, I shouldn't have told them to beat the hell out of anyone that looks at them funny. They've been grounded for the last few months for beating up that little Hyuuga girl, Hanabi and a couple of other Hyuugas,"

The story the three told him before being taken home and locked in their rooms was that Hanabi said something to Konohamaru about being weaker than her and looked at him funny. Considering that being stared at by those white eyes could be considered strange all on it's own the boy took his words to heart and punched her in the face while they were on the playground.

And when some of the few other Hyuuga children saw the youngest clan heiress be punched, they jumped in which caused Moegi and Udon to get involved to help their friend. In the end all hell broke loose and the three were proud to say that they took on four Hyuuga and won.

Hilda stared at him for a moment. Incredible, he already had a few underlings that looked up to him like that and not only that but one was the village leaders grandson? The young master really chose well.

"If I'm right, they should be just about through with their punishment. Sooner or later they'll be coming over."

-X-

The next day, Naruto was once again annoyed with Kakashi. He waited two hours at the bridge with a pink haired waste of space and a homosexual Uchiha in denial only for the man to give them the day off, saying something about a meeting or some other bullshit along those lines. Walking down one of the side streets, he muttered dark things under his breath while Beel hung off the back of his jacket snoring, lulled to sleep by his fathers dark rambling.

Stopping, Naruto sighed, "Konohamaru, don't make me hurt you," he exclaimed before turning around to find a square box with two eye holes painted like a rock, "This is sad even for you."

The box exploded in a plume of gray smoke waking Beel up who poked his head out from over Naruto's shoulder and glared but strangely didn't cry.

Three sets of coughing came from the cloud as it cleared, revealing three kids. The first being Konohamaru, wearing a yellow shirt with the village symbol on the front, shorts, and a long blue scarf around his neck. Next was a girl with orange hair in two ponytails that stood up on her head, she was Moegi, Konohamaru friend in school. Lastly there was a slightly taller boy with round glasses and an ever present runny nose, he was Udon the brains of the small group.

"Hehehe, I knew you'd notice us, Boss!" Exclaimed the leader of the group as the cloud faded away, making Naruto's eye twitch, an idiot would've noticed them. "But hey, since we're not grounded anymore, will you play ninja with us?"

Sakura, who was coming up the same road after sulking that Sasuke didn't go out on a date with her, heard this as she got close. "A ninja playing ninja, that is so twisted." she sneered before realizing that she said it out loud and well within hearing range of the blond.

Naruto turned his gaze on her and gave her an evil glare to match the one Beel had, "I don't know why your talking, pretty much all you do is play ninja. Now why don't you run along before you get hurt."

"Yeah, you tell her boss!" laughed Konohamaru, "Show that big foreheaded skank who's in charge."

While she was afraid of Naruto, Sakura wasn't afraid of the brat that just called her that and growled, ready to unleash her anger.

Seeing this, Konohamaru turned and ran with Sakura hot on his trail and the other two kids chasing her.

Naruto sighed, "If it's not one thing it's another, come on Baby Beel, let's make sure the brat lives through this."

"Da-Bu…"

Following the four, Naruto came across a strange sight. Konohamaru was being held up by a sand ninja wearing all black and wore face paint while another one, a blond girl holding a fan over her shoulder stood off to the side.

"Come on Kankuro, you're gonna get us into trouble." the blond stated dryly.

Kankuro sneered, holding Konohamaru by the collar. "But Temari, this brat run into me, I'm gonna teach him a lesson to watch where he's going."

The girl sighed, "Whatever,"

Kankuro smirked darkly at the boy in his grasp but Konohamaru didn't look scared.

"Just wait," he struggled, "When the Boss get's here you'll be sorry."

"Oh? Is that suppose to scare me? Leaf ninja aren't all that tough." Kankuro grinned before balling his fist and moving to punch the younger boy, only for a hand to catch his wrist from behind.

Naruto had moved around to the back of them without them noticing and caught the fist before it hit the boy, making Konohamaru grin at the sight of him.

"Boss!"

"Trying to beat up a kid?" Mused the blond darkly from behind the sand ninja, "Really? Just how fucking pathetic are you?"

Kankuro growled and dropped Konohamaru, "I'll show you, you bastard-" he started, only for Naruto to punch him in the side of his face with his free hand, sending the ninja through the wood fence and out of sight.

Turning his gaze on the girl, who chuckled nervously and took a step back, he hummed, "When he wakes up, tell him he's welcome."

"Huh?"

"Assaulting the Hokage's grandson isn't a very good way to make a first impression, especially when he's a lot younger."

That made Temari pale.

"Anyway," Naruto continued, turning to the three kids, "Let's go you brats, I wanna introduce you to my wife and kid."

_To be continued…_

-X-


	11. Chapter 11: Chunin Exams PT 1

Father and Son

Chapter 11: Chunin Exams PT 1

-X-

NARUTOxBEELZEBUB Crossover

(I own nothing)

-X-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

-X

"Wow Boss, your wife is hot!" Konohamaru all but cheered as the three walked into the blonds apartment with Naruto pulling up the rear with Beel, who someone managed to say unseen, on his back. Udon nodded, his glasses fogged up and face dark red.

Introducing Hilda, Naruto then pulled Beel from his back and introduced him to them.

"He's so cute!" Moegi gushed as Beel hopped out of Naruto's hands and stood on the floor proudly, "And he's butt naked! So adorable!"

To both Naruto and Hilda's shock, Beel blushed and covered himself up under Moegi's gaze.

"Hey ah… what's with the doll?" Konohamaru called, making Naruto turn away from where Beel was covering himself to find the Hokage's grandson looking at the assassin doll as it sat on the arm of the couch with it's eyes closed.

He poked it a few times, "This thing is creepy," the kid mused while poking it's head, "don't it scare the-"

Without warning, the doll came alive and chomped down on Konohamaru's finger, making him squeal.

"Actually, Baby Beel don't mess with it, it's mine now." Naruto told him while ignoring how the boy shook his hand around, trying to shake the doll off his finger. "I'm training it to be my minion."

Finally, the doll let go and was flung across the room and Konohamaru was left with a series of teeth marks around his finger. But instead of hitting the wall and falling, the doll spun in the air and landed on the wall feet first, allowing it to hop back down onto the floor with a victory punch to the air.

"Anyway," Naruto exclaimed loudly, getting the three kid's attention, "As your Boss, you shall now refer to my son as…" he stopped to build up suspense, "Mini-me!"

"Idiot!" Hilda hissed, smacking Naruto over the head with her umbrella and sending him face first into the floor, "They shall call him no such thing!"

"Ok, ok, ok!" he quickly called out, "Young Boss or Jr. Boss!"

Hilda thought about it for a second before putting the umbrella away, "That'll do." She then turned to the three kids and narrowed her eyes, "Do you three understand?"

"Y-Yes ma'am!"

Nodding, Hilda turned and picked up Baby Beel, "Come along, time for your nap."

Looking between the retreating blond and the one laying on the floor, Konohamaru looked to his friends, "Man, Boss' wife sure is scary!"

-X-

"It's time to begin."

Naruto inwardly sighed as he sat at his assigned seat between Hinata Hyuuga and some Iwa ninja for the written part of the test, the only high point of the day so far had been seeing Sasuke get his ass whooped by a fellow leaf ninja by the name of Rock Lee and when he meant whooped he meant in a way that Sasuke most likely wouldn't enjoy.

Team seven started out meeting at the academy, which was closed down for the test and went up to the second floor where they came across two chunin trying to weed out the weaklings. And of course, Sasuke being the ass pirate he was, loudly alerted the whole group that they were on the second floor and that the room they were looking for, room 301 was on the third floor.

On the way, Sasuke was stopped by Rock Lee and the fight ended with Lee nearly using a potentially deadly move but was stopped by a talking turtle and then, in a puff of smoke, Gai appeared and slugged him before they hugged and cried with the sun setting in the background.

Naturally, this sight put Baby Beel in a bad mood and he had to nail both of them over the head, sending both sensei's and student's heads through the floor while the talking turtle freaked out.

Then finally, when they reached the classroom, Kakashi was there to wish them luck at the door and they walked in to be faced with every genin present sending waves of Killing Intent at them. This of course made Baby Beel giddy as hell, surprising the other genin because not only did the presence of a toddler hanging on the back of the blonds coat come as a shock, but when most children his age were exposed to KI they cried.

After sending back a pulse of KI himself, which was Beel powered, the other genin backed off and the others of the rookie nine came over. Kiba was naturally being arrogant and tried to badmouth the blond as usual but Naruto put a stop to it by threatening to knock every tooth out of his mouth again and chuckling demonically while making sure that the entire room overheard.

Then some older genin named Kabuto came over and after some talking, told them that he had information on most of the people participating. Sasuke wanted information on Rock Lee, and Kiba wanted to hear Naruto's thinking that he could embarrass the blonde.

-Small Flashback-

"Oh, you already know their names," Kabuto mused while flipping through his information cards, "That's no fun… Let's see, Rock Lee… Looks like he's about a year older than you. Mission experience, 54 D-ranks and 11 C-ranks. His team leader is Might Gai and in the last 12 months his Taijutsu has radically improved but his other skills are pretty shaky."

Sasuke stared at the card for a minute, a calculating look in his eyes…

That is, until Naruto walked up, "Your looking at his picture pretty hard there Sasuke, did he turn you on back then? I've heard that some people get a sick sexual thrill out of their ass kicked."

"Shut up!" the Uchiha yelled, losing his cool, "I wasn't thinking about how he looked in that tight spandex suit!"

Naruto chuckled, "Who said anything about how he looked in spandex?"

The room was dead silent.

"Anyway." Kabuto spoke, breaking the silence as he got another card out. "Uzumaki Naruto, wow I got a lot more on him. He's a year older than you guys, the same age as Rock Lee. (Remember, he's 13) Mission experience, 16 D-ranks and 1 low C-rank that was raised to a mid B-rank where his team faced missing ninja, Zabuza the 'Demon of the Mist', The Demon Brothers, and a Zabuza's apprentice. His sensei killed Zabuza but get this, Naruto's wife slaughtered the Demon Brothers and later, Naruto nearly beat Zabuza's apprentice to death and finished 'em off by breaking his neck with his bare hands."

With that, they all looked at Naruto with surprised expressions.

"What? The cocksucker threatened my kid?" he mused with Beel nodding sagely.

"A-Anyway," Kabuto started back, getting their attention again, "His team leader is Hatake Kakashi. His Ninjutsu is ok, but his Genjutsu is shaky, his Taijutsu on the other hand is scary."

-Flashback end-

Standing in the front of the room was a tall man wearing a grey uniform and a black trench coat with a matching bandana over his head, his face had two long scars going down it and his very presence had a dark feel to it. Behind him there were various ninja, all dressed in matching grey uniforms.

"My name is Ibiki Morino, the proctor for this part of the test…" he smirked, "And from this point on, your worst enemy."

"First off, there will be no combat without the permission of your proctor and even then, the use of fatal force is strictly forbidden. Anyone that even thinks of messing with me will regret it… got it?" he continued in a dark, don't fuck with me voice.

The room was silent… almost.

"OI!" Naruto yelled from his seat, "You think you can be a little more scarier?"

"What?"

The teen pointed to Beel, who sat on the desk with a blank look on his face, "Baby Beel is getting bored, can you kick it up a notch or something before I have to do something to keep him occupied?"

As he was talking, Beel was looking around and turned his gaze on the Iwa ninja next to Naruto and gave him the most evil glare the ninja had ever seen, making the ninja flinch.

"What is that kid doing here anyway?" Ibiki questioned.

Naruto looked down at Beel, "From the looks of it he's scoping out the competition… and he's not impressed."

"No… I mean why did you bring him in here?"

"Well what the fuck? Did you want me to leave him outside the door? He's a toddler for fuck's sake you heartless bastard, not some trained dog I can tell to sit and stay while I'm in here."

"That's not what I meant! I meant why didn't you just leave him at home!"

"Because he cries if I get too far away."

"So? He's a baby, a baby will cry."

"Yes but when he cries it just kills me," Naruto stated as if it was the simplest thing in the world, actually speaking the truth seeing as if Beel cried when he was over 49 feet away, it's literally kill the teen.

If he had hair, Ibiki would've pulled it out. "Whatever… just… shut the fuck up!"

While his father went back and forth with the proctor, Beel turned and looked at Hinata.

'Oh no, Naruto-kun's son, he's looking at me!' she thought nervously before seeing Beel cock his head, 'Does he like me?'

Suddenly, Baby Beel turned his head.

'Naruto-kun's son doesn't even like me!' she cried to herself before perking up when Beel looked at her again, 'Wait, maybe he does, maybe there's a chance that Naruto will leave his wife for me!'

Ibiki explained the test and before they knew it, they had an hour to finish it.

"Da."

Naruto looked down to the toddler sitting in his lap, "Huh?"

Beel reached up and patted the test that he had yet to work on having decided to go for the last question at the end.

"What, you wanna try?"

The kid nodded.

Picking Beel up, Naruto set him down on the desk and handed him the pencil, "Here you go, good luck kid."

If it hadn't been so strange, the proctors would've called him out on it but as it was, the females were gushing over the sight while everyone else was thinking 'WTF?'.

So while the test went on, Naruto was thinking about the rules. They were kind of fucked up with all sorts of ways to lose 'em and the way Ibiki kept on going on about being caught cheating was weird, what, had he been molested too many times for cheating as a kid?

Then it hit him, maybe they wanted him to cheat.

Looking back at the test, he grimaced, Beel fucked that paper up but on the other hand it was pretty good to say the least. It was crude but he could tell that the picture was of him and Beel standing atop a pile of corpses.

"Alright people, you got five minutes before the last question."

'Fuck,'

He wasn't feeling as confident as before, Ibiki mentioned that if you failed the last question you failed the test period. So either the last question of get some answers… then the light bulb went off above his head.

"Alright Maggots, one minute left."

"Oi, Iwa ninja!" Naruto called, making the ninja next to him turn along with everyone else just in time to see the blonde's fist crash into the ninja's face, knocking him out of his chair, over the desk and crashing head first into the wall where he passed out and laid there stuck in the wall.

Everyone gaped at the show of power long enough for Naruto to snatch the ninja's paper, erase the name and write his own.

"Whoo!" he cheered with a vicious grin, "All done!"

"You know that's going to be a point from your score right?"

Naruto shrugged at Ibiki, "So what, I'm done and so is he."

Beel copied his father, proudly making himself known but holding up his picture, freaking out those close enough to see what he drew. They got even more freaked when Naruto patted him on the head with what they saw as a dark chuckle and said 'That's my boy'

Shaking his head, Ibiki exclaimed that it was time for the final question, "But there's one more rule," he stopped, letting them mutter and bitch for a second before continuing. "You have a choice, you can choose rather or not to take it. But… if you chose not to take it, you fail the test."

"Well no duh we'll take the question." Kiba loudly yelled from the back of the room, Akamaru yapping from atop his head.

The man grinned, "You didn't let me finish, if you don't take it, you fail… but it you do chose to answer it and you get it wrong, you not only fail but you'll remain a Genin and never be allowed to take the test again."

"What!?" someone else in the crowd yelled, "That's bull! Some of us took the test more than once!"

"Well tough shit! This is the first time I've been able to proctor this part of the exam so I guess you maggots are just shit out of luck."

"What the fuck, how the hell is that even possible!" Naruto loudly said making everyone look over to him once again to see that he was glaring at Baby Beel who sat across from him on the desk with his arms crossed an a self-satisfied look on his face and a deck of cards between them.

"Da!" Beel exclaimed while leaning up and slamming his hand onto the desk glaring at his father before pointing to the five cards sitting in front on him face up, showing… five aces?

Naruto glared back, "Hell no, you can't have five of a kind in a game of poker with no wild cards! I'm not paying your cheating ass a damn yen!"

"Da!"

"I said no you little cheat!"

"Da!"

"What, you think I'm scared of her?"

"Da!"

"You think Hilda's gonna take your side on this?"

Beel nodded.

"Mother fucker…" he growled under his breath, reaching for his wallet and thumbing through the notes, "I fucking swear, I ain't never playing cards with you again."

Handing over the money, he noticed that everyone was looking at him and snapped, "What!? You never seen a guy lose an argument with his kid before!?"

-X-

"Forest of Death huh?" Naruto mused as they arrived at the village's most dangerous training ground.

Atop his head, Beel grinned and tugged on the blonde's hair, "Da-bu!"

"Ow, yeah I know it's nothing new, but think of it as a camping trip through the park." he muttered as this was the place that Beel liked for him to take him though as if it was a playground. But he guessed to Beel, it was, only instead of jungle gyms, swing sets, sandboxes, and the occasional bully, there were large trees higher than the eye could see, thick vines that looked strong enough to hold a ton, quicksand, and humongous man-eating beasts.

Sakura, who'd been freaked out at the sight of a large centipede across the fence turned to him, "You take you son on walks through there!?"

"Yeah, so what. You scared of a little place called the 'Forest of Death'?" he mocked.

Hearing this, Anko looked at him and smirked, narrowing her eyes to slits as she gave a small 'heh', "So… looks like we got a tough guy here."

Naruto looked back over to her broadly, "Well I like to think so." the teen mused while studying her. She had light brown, pupil-less eyes and violet hair styled in a short, spiky fanned ponytail. Her state of dress was questionable to say the least, consisting of a mesh body suit that stretched from her neck down to her thighs with a orange-brown leather skirt and lastly, a tan trench coat.

In a flash, a kunai fell from her sleeve and into her hand, which she sent flying through the air at the blonde, cutting his cheek. It then continued to sail past another genin and narrowly missed another with long hair, cutting a few strands before sticking in the dirt.

But Naruto didn't react, even when she vanished and reappeared behind him, "I've heard about you kid, the number one most violent teen in your class…" she spoke while holding onto his shoulders and leaning forward next to his ear, "But are you tough enough to handle this?"

She slowly licked the blood from his cheek.

"I'm confused…" he admitted, "Are you talking about the test or are you coming on to me because if so that's something we'd have to take up with my wife." That made everyone face fault.

"She said that I could bring other women into the relationship but she'd have to approve." he continued as they stood, making every man there gape at god in human form, this man living the dream that so many others coveted.

Recovering from her sudden fall, Anko went back up to the front and started explaining the rules and had a chunin pass out yet another release form saying that if they died they knew the risk.

"Alright listen up, once you sign the forms, you are to go to the tent over there and hand over your signed forms." she said while motioning to one that a chunin had just finished putting together. "In return for your two forms, you will be given one of these scrolls."

The woman pulled two simple looking scrolls from her coat and held them out, both were a little larger than her hand but one was colored white with the symbol for heaven on it while the other was a dark blue labeled earth.

"There are twenty-six teams and as such there will be twenty-six scrolls, one for each team. One half of you will receive a heaven scroll and you must find and retrieve the other, those with a earth scroll must do the same and get a heaven scroll. While going through the forest, you must not open your scrolls, all the time, chunin's are trusted with missions to carry vital information and must resist the temptations of reading it." Anko explained before placing the scrolls back into her pocket, "Oh and one other thing, this test will be timed. You will have five days to get one of each and make it to the central tower. All three team members must be there or the team fails, any questions?"

There were none.

So everyone went about signing the forms and went to get the scroll before being sent to one of the many gates surrounding the forest. Team seven was given a earth scroll and was directed to gate 13.

"Hey blonde!" Anko called as she appeared behind Naruto again, placing one are around his neck and the other around his torso, "Wanted to say good luck!" she all but cooed before vanishing again, leaving Naruto with a 'WTF' look on his face.

"What was that about?" Sasuke questioned.

Naruto shook his head, "I'm… not sure…"

_To be continued…_

-X-


End file.
